ᶠÚᵗᵇᵒˡ Oɴᴇsʜᴏᴛs ⎳⎳

Like a moth to the flame pt.2

Simply asking the coach to permit him a day off because he couldn't bear seeing Thibaut's face while practicing shooting would only make him seem like a lunatic.

When in the entirety of his life he had never faced any issue regarding anger management, all of a sudden, now it has become the biggest factor for him to come up with a solution of. He's clueless of what he's supposed to do, and he can't keep seeking help to Eden either. It'd only be a few times before Eden himself would probably start getting annoyed and the coach would notice Kevin's absurd behaviour.

But thinking about the moment 15 minutes ago when he had seen Thibaut's face out of the corner of his eye after nearly a year, all the emotions from the situation in the past rose back to shore like it had only took place yesterday. His heart had stung just like it did that day, and although it wouldn't last for more than a few seconds as Thibaut would disappear, it still lingered like an unwanted headache.

Even so, tiny wisps of an unidentified feeling of longing occupied the empty space in his soul, leaving tingles of satisfaction on impact. Kevin, as much as he didn't want to admit it, recognised the familiarity of the warmth and just so who it might be from as well, yet he couldn't exactly put a finger on it.

Trying to keep himself calm and collected throughout practice, he mindlessly kicked the ball around practice as told, not paying attention to the fact that shooting practice is just around the corner and either way he'll be faced with what he dreads the most.

Hazard took note of how Kevin's face had slight change of expression every few minutes, and how his eyes would aimlessly wander across and beyond the grass and training grounds, paying no mind to what he's doing. It was, indeed, quite absurd and unexpected from Kevin of such behaviour, and although it isn't the worst, it could be.

Looking back at the very reason that had caused an electrical circuit between the peripheral connections of his brain and conscience,- honestly, it's been a while since it has passed. And Kevin shouldn't be carrying this around like a grudge, yet, here he is, willingly carrying the troubles of paying too much attention to something he's supposed to let go.

A part of his mind opposed the idea of holding this grudge and instead solving it out with Thibaut, but ofcourse, such a small fraction of his brain stood no chance against the remaining entirety of it that immediately overthrew the thought.

If Kevin had let it all go, he wouldn't be standing here today, rethinking all the choices he's ever made in his life til now, and now they don't fit the puzzle anymore. They don't slip perfectly into the slot like they did when he made those decisions, anymore.

Mindlessly kicking the ball, he can feel shame rising in the form of bile, a wave of nausea hitting him like a slap across the face. It was enough to break him away from his alternate universe, his hand automatically thrown over his nose and mouth, catching Hazard's attention.

Hazard kicked the ball away and held his shoulders, leaning over closer to his face to speak lowly, not to cause commotion.

- "Hey bud, you wanna take some rest?"

- "No..I think I'll do okay."

- "But after this we have shooting practice coming up, you sure you up for it?"

Kevin aimlessly stared at his feet before bringing his gaze back up and nodding in confirmation.

- "Alright mate, but I warned you aight?"

Kevin nodded and rubbed his nose before jogging behind Hazard towards the goalpost.

The contents of his stomach churned and gurggled inside of him, making him feel like emptying out his contents then and there, but he knew this was just a whiff of it and there was no actual food content that'd come out of him now.

Finally, his turn came. As he stepped a few feet away from the ball to fix his aim on which side and corner he'd shoot into, his eyes met with Thibaut's, and he payed no mind and shamelessly continued to look at him. The unidentified tingles of warmth returned, which caused him to immediately retrieve his gaze back to the ball. I should not be thinking of him, he tried to convince himself. But it was all useless anyway which he'd only realize later.

As he ran towards the ball, a new wave of nausea hit him and this time it was intense enough to overthrow his composure, making him loose balance, blurring his vision, causing him to slip and fall head first as the ball flew to a random direction on impact.

The last blurred image of what he could make out was someone running to him before he'd completely black out from the sudden start of a throbbing pain severing through his head.

---

Kevin woke up to a white ceiling and a soft white light hanging at the foot of his bed and every other bed that was present in the room. His hand flew to his head from the immediate pain as he sat up and peeled the blanket off his body, mumbling - 'I need to go practice' before stumbling.

If it wouldn't have been for Thibaut grabbing him immediately and lifting him up into his arms, Kevin would've most probably injured himself severely.

Thibaut placed him back on his bed, tucking him under the sheets, taking a seat back on the stool beside the head of the bed.

Kevin wanted to cry right now. Partially because the headache is killing him, but particularly because he's not sure how he's supposed to act towards Thibaut now that the team has left him to take care of Kevin.

The uncertainty and anxiety only adds onto the throbs of his head, as he squeezes his eyes shut while grabbing his head, tears rolling down his cheeks as he breaks into soft sobs.

- "Hey, come here,"

Thibaut sits on the bed and opens his arms to take Kevin in. Kevin contemplates but soon gives in, breaking into louder sobs, hugging him tightly, whereas Thibaut's hands immediately sneak around Kevin's waist, bringing him closer to the warmth of his body in this cold and gloomy weather.

- "It's alright, you'll be okay,"

Thibaut tried his best to keep it relevant, as he didn't want Kevin to hate him anymore than he already does.

Kevin remains engulfed by Thibaut's much bigger frame, settling into the warmth, letting himself recover from his break of character, letting the sobs die down to sniffles. By the time that the room would be completely quiet again, the soft pitter patter of rainfall would interrupt the silence.

Thibaut expected a slap, or maybe anything just as equally worse, but nothing happened. Kevin stayed wrapped in Thibaut's lankly, long but strong arms, laying his head on his wide and broad shoulder, not paying any mind to what majority of his head had to say about Thibaut. Now, what he only wanted to listen to, is the small part of his mind that suggested the otherwise about Thibaut for Kevin to consider, and he willingly did.

For the moment, Kevin seeked warmth to where he found it, like a moth to the flame.

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