Never Let You Go

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No one saw it coming.

No one wanted it to come.

But of course it had to happen; there was no stopping it, nothing you could do about it now.

And it happened at the worst possible time.

----

You were in the kitchen of your apartment after a long days work, baking a batch of your cookies to pass the time. In less than an hour your boyfriend Bucky would be finishing up his shift at the docks and you would be able to head over to his house where the two of you could continue your planning for moving into an apartment together.

You had known each other for a long while now and been dating for the past two years. One of your good friends Steve, his best friend, introduced you two and it had been fireworks since the moment that you laid eyes on each other.

Bucky was perfect. Such a gentleman despite Steve's joking about how he used to be. Now even Steve said that he'd changed since he'd been with you; settled down and humbled somewhat. Although it was his witty charm that you loved the most about him.

That smirk that would creep across his plump, pink lips whenever something cheeky crossed his mind. The way his sparkling blue eyes lit up at the sight of you. The feeling of his short, curly brown locks when you tangled your fingers through it. The softness of his smooth skin when his cheek brushed against yours. His musky, manly scent. All of it just made you melt and go weak at the knees. Never in your entire life did you ever dream of meeting a man like him. Yet here he was, like something out of your favourite fairytale book.

You couldn't help but smile at the thought of seeing him soon and quickly finished up your work. Taking the cookies out of the stove and leaving them on the bench to cool, you brushed your hands off on your apron and took it off before slipping on one of your more comfy pairs of shoes and redoing your ponytail.

You were still in your work clothes; skirt and blouse from the diner and you hadn't bothered to reapply your makeup but it didn't matter, Bucky wouldn't mind. He said he liked it better when you didn't where it, gave him more of a chance to see your beautiful face.

You were already out the door and strolling down the street despite the fact that you knew he probably wasn't going to be home yet. Due to this you stopped at the nearby patisserie shop, one of your guys favourites and picked up two cinnamon rolls, one for each of you. By now he should have been nearly home so you made your way around the block to his apartment.

Walking up the steps you could already feel something was off. Something really just didn't feel right. What was it though?

Was it the sympathetic look you got from his neighbour as you walked past their gate?

Was it the not so welcoming way the baker welcomed you into his shop today?

Or was it simply the sad sight of a stray dog scavenging in the gutter a wee way back?

Bucky's shoes were at the doorstep so he was home.

You couldn't help but hesitate at his doormat. But you shook the strange feeling creeping up on you off and knocked twice on his door before letting yourself in.

"Bucky?" You called out. "Darling where are you?" 

Normally he would come rushing out from wherever he was and sweep you up into his arms, spinning you around in a circle and grinning as he kissed your lips sweetly. But today there was silence.

You frowned, knowing full well that he was home. Even his coat was hanging over its hook as it should be.

You ventured inside, searching the kitchen and then the small lounge. No sight of him.

"Buck?" You asked again.

But it was like you were still talking to thin air.

You made your way to the door leading to his bedroom thinking that he might be in there and just didn't hear you.

You cracked open the door and peaked inside, spotting him immediately. He's sitting on the edge of his bed, hunched over with his head in his hands.

"Bucky?" You asked worriedly.

His head shot up, eyes wide in shock and red from crying.

"Baby what's wrong?" You said, your voice beginning to tremble.

"Doll, I'm so sorry." He sobbed before his head disappeared back to its place in his hands.

"Bucky?" You repeated, rushing over to him and dropping to your knees on the cold wooden floor.

You placed your hands on top of his and stroked your thumbs over the backs of his hands soothingly.

"Darling look at me." You whispered.

Slowly he came out of his hiding place and looked you right in the eyes. His own were glassy, his cheeks were wet with tears and his bottom lip was quivering. Just then you noticed that in fact his whole body was shaking.

"What is it?" You continue.

"I'm sorry, I was going to tell you. I should've warned you, but I didn't think it would come so soon." He managed to stutter out.

"What are you talking about?" You frowned.

He looked down into his lap before reaching down and then passing you a crumpled piece of paper.

Your blood ran cold as your eyes skimmed the letter and you let out a gasp just as your hand flew to your mouth. Then the tears started to come and you looked back up at Bucky.

Poor Bucky. What did he do to deserve this?

"Y-you." You started. "You've been drafted?"

He bit his lip, squeezing his eyes shut as a few more tears escaped and he nodded.

"Oh my god Bucky." You cried and leapt into his arms..

He stood up, bringing you up with him and you hid your face in his chest, soaking his shirt with tears.

"They came last week and forced me to sign up. I'm so sorry." He whimpered, burying his face in your hair.

"Don't be, you can't help it." You sobbed, muffled by his shirt.

He didn't say anything after that. Just held you tighter then he ever had before, his arms wrapped around your back. Trembling and not even trying to hold back his tears.

You had never seen him like this and it broke your heart. He was terrified and you knew it. He never wanted to go to war, not after what happened to his father.

"We were supposed to move in together, settle down, get married, start a family." He cried after a while.

"Bucky shh, you're talking as if we can't do that anymore. Of course we can. Just not until you get back. I'll wait. Don't worry." You replied with a shaky voice, clutching onto his shirt.

"If I get back." He breathed, shivering harder.

"When you get back." You corrected him, squeezing your eyes shut and trying to block out thoughts of the possibility of what he just said.

"Right." He whispered as if trying to reassure himself and he nodded sharply as he buried his head in the crook of your neck. "When."

"When do you leave?" You asked, dreading the answer.

"I leave tomorrow for training at Camp Lehigh." He said hoarsely, pulling away to look at you.

A small sob escaped your lips at this. You were going to miss him so much and you hardly even got the chance to say goodbye.

Suddenly he took your chin in between his forefinger and thumb, tilting it so that you were looking into his watery eyes.

"I love you (Y/N)." He mumbled before smashing his lips to yours in a lingering, passionate kiss.

The salty taste of tears on your lips mixed together and you indulged in his addicting taste, wishing that you never had to let go of him.

But of course you needed to breath and eventually you had to pull away.

"I love you too Bucky." You breathed, pressing your forehead against his.

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