I'll Keep This Secret For You (Part 10)

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"Luke, please don't do that." You wine at him as he tries to pull the fancy crockery out from the cupboard.

You lie on the couch feeling physically unable to move with nausea, tiredness and bloatedness. You're seven nearly eight months pregnant already and the truth is it is so much harder this time. But of course you would never tell Bucky that.

You two have been constantly sending each other letters and you send him monthly bump picks now that you're showing and he remarks on how you're looking so much bigger this time. Which yes you know, you can tell and definitely feel it because all you feel is huge and lousy and sore.

It is so hard and you are struggling to cope. Bucky always asks what he can do to help you but you say nothing and tell him your managing just fine because you know there's nothing he can do and you don't want him to feel bad.

"Why not?" Luke moans and pouts as he comes storming over to you. "Can you come play with me outside."

"No Luke, mummy's tired. Be a good boy for me like daddy told you to please." You sigh.

Luke, as much as you love him is making it ten times worse because he really doesn't understand the concept of being pregnant. You knew the minute that he asked you why you were getting so fat that you were screwed.

You've got everything sorted, sleeping quarters and a cot and all that and now that you are on maternity leave all you pretty much have to do is wait and look after Luke.

Bucky's POV:

A month today. A month from today she is due. And I couldn't be more nervous.

I know she tells me that she is doing fine and that Luke is behaving well but I'm still worried. All I want is to be with her and to do things to help her and make sure she's okay.

I have no idea what's going to happen when she goes into labour. She says she's got it sorted but I'm definitely stressing because she's got no one there to help her.

And Luke, what will happen with him? Surely her parents will help but (Y/N) being the stubborn thing that she is says that she doesn't want to rely on them and wants to prove that she can do it herself.

I've lost contact with Steve, I can't get a hold of him and neither can (Y/N) so that's yet another thing playing on my mind. I was hoping that he could help out back home but obviously not.

She's all that runs through my mind at the moment. I don't think about anything else.

I reload my gun again and peer over the trench, eyeing up my target through my scope and fire repeatedly. I see them collapse to the ground but next thing a bullet comes whizzing past my ear.

Jesus, that was so close I could practically feel it.

I drop back down into the trench, sitting with my back against the wall of mud and rip my helmet off, gasping for breath.

That was fricken scary.

My hand automatically goes to my breast pocket and I pull out the photo that (Y/N) sent me just yesterday. It's of her holding Luke's hand. They both look so happy. Luke's smiling up at (Y/N) with his hand on her now huge bump and she's smiling down at him too.

She looks beautiful. Absolutely glowing. Even through the fuzzy black and white photo I can still see how gorgeous she is.

Seeing this photo only renews my knowledge that I have to do this. I have to be careful. I have to fight hard. So that I can get back home to them safely.

My thoughts are interrupted when a pair of combat boots come trudging into my line of vision.

"Can I give you a piece of advice Bucky?" Falsworth huffs as he plops down next to me.

He's definitely been the most supportive out of anyone throughout this whole thing.

"What's that Falsey?" I sigh as I rest my head back against the trench wall and run a hand over my face before resting it on my knee.

"Don't stress about it. I know that's hard to do but there's nothing you can do to help. The more you stress the worse it is. You'll be distracted. You've got a job to do and a team here to look after just as much as your family back home. So get out there and fight and you'll be home before you know it. It's what your wife would want." He says quietly.

"I know you're right, but it's just hard to do. I keep worrying that something is going to happen. I mean for all I know she could very well have the baby and I wouldn't know for two or three weeks. And what if something goes wrong?" I explain. "And I'm so aware that I need to stay safe and get back home to them."

"You're a strong fighter. If you just do what you need to do then you'll be home safe in no time." He says and slaps me on the shoulder. "Now come on Sergeant. We need to gain some ground. Will you lead us?"

"Yes sir." I huff and smile weakly at him.

He's right. I have a job to do. I need to push it all aside and just be here.

So I put the picture back safely in my breast pocket, reload my gun and take Falsworth's hand for him to help me up before I shuffle back into position.

Everyone goes silent when they see me back at attention.

It's just coming on dawn, it's still fairly dark and a low fog hangs overhead.

"Alright men are you ready?" I whisper as I look around to see everyone perched at the edge of the trench.

"Aye!" They whisper back in unison.

"Okay, 3, 2, 1." I whisper. "Charge!" I shout and at that we all run up and out of the trench.

Sprinting across no mans land, we treacherously make our way through the mud, me leading the pack. Firing at what we can hardly see in front of us through the fog, dodging rogue bullets from the enemy and trying not to trip over barbed wire.

I just start to think that we are getting close when all of a sudden there is a blinding pain in my left shoulder. Without doing it deliberately I drop my gun and my right hand flies to the source of the searing pain.

I feel faint, black spots cloud my vision and I stagger to a halt, falling to my knees. I see a few of my men start to run on ahead. That's what they're meant to do. Coming back for someone only means risking more lives.

I take my hand away and see that it is dripping red with blood. That's when I realise, I've been shot.

"Barnes! No!" I hear a familiar voice shout, but I don't respond, can't recognise exactly who it is.

I feel like I should be panicking but I'm not. I'm in a daze. Already I know that I've lost a lot of blood and I feel like I can't hold up my own weight and I can't help but collapse backwards to a position where I am lying helplessly in the mud.

I can't move. It's too painful, I don't have the energy.

My thoughts go to (Y/N) and Luke and the new baby.

Your POV:
(At the exact same moment back home.)

You've just said goodnight to Luke and are heading to your own room even though it's not that late because you are so tired when all of a sudden you get a strange feeling.

Something's not right. You know it's not. You feel the sudden urge to write Bucky a letter. You need to know how he is.

You don't know why but you start to panic. Bucky's in danger.

But he can't be. How would you know that? It must just be pre-baby nerves.

You try to calm yourself down and just go to sleep. But right as you are slipping into bed an unbearable pain rips through your abdomen. You gasp and clutch your swollen belly, looking down below you you start to feel warm water trickling down your leg.

Oh god. Is all you can think. This baby is coming, right now.

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