RUYI

103 - Self-Preservation

*WARNING: The following content may contain sexual content.*

It's a strange but amazing feeling to have a small life inside you. Because of my damaged body, I did not think to ever have a child. I was not even sure if I wanted one. But to feel the baby move inside my womb, I could not help but laugh.

"Ruyi"

Hearing the Prince's call, I looked up to see him standing at the doorway. I lifted a hand to him and he immediately entered. Once he sat down beside me on the large chaise, I took his hand and placed it on my round stomach.

"Jian, the baby is kicking."

I watched the Prince smile while he felt the baby moving.

"Does it hurt?"

I shook my head and laughed softly as the baby finally settled itself.

"Ruyi"

My attention went to the Prince as he had his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to his chest. Lifting my head up to look at him, I could see he was troubled by something.

"The Empress requested that we visit her tomorrow"

I didn't know why the Prince appeared hesitant. The child I'm carrying belonged to him. It was normal that the Empress, his grandmother would want to see the progress of the pregnancy.

"Ruyi understands..."

The Prince pressed his lips against my forehead and held me closer.

"Don't be afraid, I will be with you"

How can I be afraid knowing that the Prince is always with me?

"Jian... the Empress cares for the baby..."

"Yes. She cares for the baby. Only the baby... not the mother"

The Prince eyes flashed with resentment.

"If not for the child, do you think they cared if you well or not? If not for the child, would they want you in the inner palace?"

Without the child, I was of no significance to the royal family.

"Ruyi only needs the Prince"

Hearing me say that, the Prince unexpectedly took my lips in a zealous kiss. Startled, I gazed into his gray eyes as his tongue and lips took possession of my mouth. Before the kiss consumed us, the Prince pulled away and buried his lips against the side of my head - into my hair.

"Ruyi only needs me..." The Prince voice was soft.

"Yes... but the child will need its family..."

"The child will only need us"

When the Prince lifted his head to look at me, I understood he didn't want me in the palace.

"Ruyi isn't strong enough to protect the child..."

I had no power or strength to protect the Prince's child. I was not a fool not to understand the child's position when it grows up. I was born to a mother who had fought to gain a better life for herself. I did not want my own child to live like I do - born with no love.

"Ruyi doesn't want her child to be hurt... to be bully..."

"Who would dare bully our child? Silly woman, I'll never allow anyone to bully you or the child"

"Ruyi knows the Prince will protect Ruyi and the baby... but if the prince had to choose between_"

"Enough"

I never want to put the Prince in a situation where he had to choose between his child and me.

"If the child is loved, no one will bully or hurt the child..."

If the child was loved by the royal family, no would dare to hurt it?

"And you?" The Prince's expression held bitterness. "It's fine that you're not loved?"

"It is enough that the child is loved" I will not ask for more.

"Ruyi, why can't you think more for yourself?" The Prince held my cheeks. "Why can't you be more selfish?"

But I am thinking for myself. I am being selfish. It's self-preservation on my part to have this child. To be with the Prince, I'm willing to risk my life. For my child's future, I'm willing to risk my soul.