Dear Future Husband

October 16, 2018

Dear Future Wife,

WADDUP BIATCH!!!!

Go make me a sandwich.

Just kidding.
(But for the record I like turkey on rye)

So I'm supposed to tell you all this shit about loving you and I can't wait meeting you and a bunch of other bullshit because Mrs. Hathaway is a sap. So I'm just going to ramble about random bullshit for half a page so when she comes around to check I have something written down.

I don't understand the point of this anyway, we all know that half of this class is going to toss these anyway and their future spouse (if the ugly fucks even get one) will never get to read them. I'll probably end up being one of them unless my sap of a mom convinces me to keep it. But what if I do get married, show this to you, then we get divorced, and I remarry? Do I show it to my new wife? Too many holes in this plan my hoe.

Anyway, are you hot? Actually, nevermind, I don't care if your hot, your ass and tits will be huge. I just know it.

Ok well I made it to half a page so bye.

-Grant