Dear Future Husband

March 15, 2019

Dear Future Husband,

Field hockey tryouts started yesterday and I'm pretty much already on the team. I was on it last year, I rode the bench, but I'm pretty confident that this year I'll get some significant playing time. I've gotten so much better since then, and the coach has started using me for demonstrations, so yeah, I guess you could say I'm pretty confident I made it. At the rate I'm going, I might even be a starter, but I don't want to get ahead of myself.

My practice gets over on the lower field fifteen minutes after boys' varsity lacrosse finishes on the upper field, so Grant always comes down to wait for me when I get done, then drives me home. We play it cool as we walk to the car, but once we get in, nothing matters anymore and we make out and flirt and do all of the things we've been wanting to do all week, and when finally pull out of the parking lot, one of his hands on the wheel while the other is holding mine.

We talk about how our days went and try to make plans for the weekend that usually don't work out, either because my family hovers over me or one of us is busy, even though it's usually me. Sometimes on the way home, we go to Chipotle and grab the table in the corner under the noisy and obnoxious air conditioner, trying to avoid anyone we know that comes in.

I'm starting to get nervous about this whole secret relationship thing, especially because the ten day mark is coming up and I hate lying to my parents, but I just don't know how to tell them. There were times when they would be in a really good mood and I would be helping one of them make dinner, and I considered just saying it, but I held my tongue. I was planning to test the waters soon and see their reaction to the G word, but I didn't want to be too obvious about it.

They're never home from work when he drops me off after practice and Clarissa hardly notices his car in the driveway anymore, so he has been off their radar for a while. I know that we kind of established he wasn't a terrible person, but it's still Clarissa's ex, and I have a feeling my parents will always associate bad things with him after their messy breakup. I don't know what I am going to do, but I need to come up with something fast.

For now, we are okay. For now, we can both save the girlfriend-boyfriend stuff for our moments alone. For now, no one has to know.

Xoxo, Alina