July 10, 2019

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Dear my forever,

I've just completely said screw it at this point.

I really can't be moping around anymore and I deserve to be happy again.

I can't let the guilt or the regret drag me down anymore. I made my decision and it's final and I have to live with it because I was the one who decided and I don't want to change it, so I'm going to make this vacation a damn good one.

I avoided Rena like the plague for two days because I didn't want it to go any further, which I knew it would at some point. If I saw her in the water, I laid face down on the beach. If I saw her walking along the beach, I hightailed it for the water and paddled along the shore away from her, and if I knew I couldn't get away, I would simply go back to the house. I did not want to have to deal with whatever flirts she sent my way.

Today I had fully scoped the beach as usual and decided it was safe to go surfing. For a good half an hour I enjoyed surfing in solitude, but after one particularly nasty wave that I fuckling nailed, I heard clapping followed by a "Well done, stranger."

I turned to see Rena on her board, smiling at me.

"Hey, Rena." I said, mentally kicking myself. "Haven't seen you in a minute."

"Avoiding me?" She said, obviously joking even though it was one hundred percent true.

"Yeah, I don't need you to watch me fall anymore. It's too embarrassing."

She laughed. "I'll pretend I didn't see."

So I spent the rest of the day surfing with her and I didn't hate it, that was the worst part. I actually enjoyed spending time with Rena and it made me feel guilty because it had been a little over a week and I had already moved on, and Alina wasn't someone you moved on quickly from.

"Maybe tonight you could stop by my restaurant and we could have some of our California famous curly fries." She said as we came out of the water

"Alright," I said. "Let's do it."

She smiled. "Great, I'll see you at nine." She winked at me before running off with her board.

I knew I couldn't say no to her without flat out denying her, and I didn't want to do that. At that point, I figured I would ride this wave out as long as it would let me. At that point, I had decided that I didn't owe anything to Alina anymore, I had made my decision and it made me a free man, so I was going to go after this hot Cali girl that was into me.

I was anxious all through dinner with my family and was watching the clock to make sure I would be home on time to go. We left around eight which was just barely cutting it and I wished I had gotten Rena's number so I could tell her of any delays like this.

I pulled April aside as we left the restaurant to tell her about everything that had happened since she was the one who made me come out of hibernation.

"See? I told you you could be happy without her if you got over yourself."

"I know," I sighed. "You were right, and now I need your help. Rena invited me to hang out with her tonight, but I don't want mom and Rick to know. They will make a big deal out of it and I don't want to have to tell them about Alina. There's a roof next to the window in my room so i'm going to sneak out-"

"Say no more." April said, smiling. "I've got you covered."

Like I said, having someone in my corner right now was such a relief.

I told everyone that I had bad fish at dinner and was going to bed early, and April really milked it by shoveling aspirin and ginger ale at me saying how if I was going to throw up, keep it in my room and don't come out. With an actress like her, there was no way anyone was going to check up on me tonight.

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