November 5, 2018

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Dear Future Husband,

I need a hug right now.

Its been two weeks and I'm still the odd man out, and I'm really mad that I've been relieved. Everyone is just so... happy without me, and I can't say I'm thrilled about that but I don't know, not having them on my back all the time has been liberating.

Stepping back from them has helped me realize how much crap I take from them.

Paisley is such a head case. She always has to be the center of attention and never thinks of anyone else, and admits it too! She takes everything for granted, always complaining how her parents cut her allowance off at three hundred every week. Every week! People who work eighteen hours a day in China don't earn that much in a month. There is always something new she wants and once she gets it, she just moves on to the next thing.

Ava is a different story, but not any better. She has depression and, I mean, I'll give her that, and I've cut so much slack for it, but it doesn't make up for the fact that she has something new to critique every day about me just because it might make her feel a little better about herself. "Alina, that shirt is so slutty." "Why would you get that for lunch?" "You ran the mile in nine minutes? You're so slow!" Like, why? Just tell me why you feel the need to embarrass me? I'm supposed to be your friend, not your punching bag.

Oh Giselle, Giselle, Giselle, the liar. At first, I thought she was pretty cool, then I realized it was all a lie. I'm serious, I don't think one thing that comes out of her mouth isn't at least a little BS. The worst thing is that I think she has started to believe herself and all of her lies. God, I hate liars so much. Liars and possessive people really drive me insane.

Which brings me to my final and least favorite friend, Gabrielle. She is the one who started the whole pairing off thing in the first place, mainly because she can't multitask to save her life. She can only focus on one person at a time and that person must spend every waking moment with her or else she throws a fit. It started as just me and her, and she wasn't thrilled when I pulled three more people into the mix, each girl she clung to like a dying barnacle every so often. Let's be honest, no one in our group wants her.

I just want them to detach and float away and infect some other waters with their toxins, I don't want their friendships.

But I still want friends.

Good ones.

Scratch that.

I want a friend.

I don't care who, as long as they're a good one.

Xoxo, Alina

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