Dear Future Husband

February 21, 2019

Dear Future Husband,

I'm free.

Finally I'm free.

For real this time.

I'm done with Brad.

It wasn't easy, in fact I think it was the hardest thing yet, but I did it.

Today I was finally starting to forget about the thing that happened last week, I was just starting to get over it. I was walking down the back stairwell of the school and decided the whole thing was behind me. I hadn't had the slightest encounter in a while and convinced myself that if something did happen, I would just shake it off. I could just shake it off right?

Just as these thoughts swirled into my head, the door from the bottom floor opened and Brad himself walked through.

I tensed, I froze as usual, but it felt more like a cold piece of wire than a block of ice. Either way, I was screaming at myself from the inside to get out of there, to shake it off, it wasn't a big deal. He was just going to verbally harass me as usual then go on his way, but my mind was still apprehended.

I found just enough strength to shrink up against the wall of the staircase, trying my hardest to move my foot onto the step to run away.

He stopped when he saw me, baring a big grin as he picked me apart with his eyes like he usually did. "Well well well, our paths cross once again," He stalked slowly towards me like a panther on the prowl. "I can't help but think this isn't a coincidence." His body started to press into mine and I tried to assimilate into the wall, but I couldn't run. I was trapped.

He pushed his hips against me and started rubbing them against the zipper in my pants, my veins swelling in my neck as hot blood rushed to my face.

He began to make moaning noises as I felt something in his pants start to climb up. "You know," He leaned close to my ear, seizing both of my breasts in one of his massive hands that could strangle me with one flick of his finger, while the other reached between us and started undoing the button of my jeans. "I'm pretty sure I fucked your sister in this spot. How ironic." He chuckled, sticking his hands down my underwear.

At that moment, a flip switched for me. With what he just said, and what he just did, everything started to make sense. Everything started to hit me. I wasn't paralyzed, I had full function of my whole body. My throat wasn't suffocating me, I could breath just fine and there was plenty air to form words. It was my mind that was broken, that had been broken by fear. No, I wasn't scared anymore. I had just established that I was fine a few minutes ago. I could stop this, I could stop the fear from enslaving me any longer.

The chains on my mind fell and I could feel the blood rushing to my hands and feet and words starting coming out of my mouth again. "Stop," I started, clenching my fists. "I-I do not feel comfortable with this, and want you to stop." No matter how brave I might've felt, I couldn't keep my voice from shaking and my mind from going into overdrive. It didn't know what to do with itself now that the fear was no longer controlling it.

He laughed. "You don't know your comfort zone until you've gone outside of it." He started to pull down the waistband of my pants, my hips going cold as they were exposed to the air

My muscles swelled and I moved my hands up against his shoulders, giving them a big shove, but his massive body didn't budge.

I felt so helpless. I didn't know what to do now, he was too strong for me. I pushed my hands against the cool wall behind me and felt along the edges of my backpack and he pushed his head against my neck, making me feel like I was boiling in acidic lava.