December 14, 2018

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Dear Future Husband,

I don't know if I can do this anymore with Donovan.

It was so good, but I don't know why now it just feels so not good.

Maybe he's lost interest.

Maybe I've lost interest.

It just seemed too good to be true, and maybe it was.

In Donovan, I always saw the shiny beautiful human he was on the outside, like some sort of Barbie doll. Everything was just so perfect about him, and I always wanted him, but once I got him, I think the shimmer dulled. Once I got to know him and once I got to "playing with him" (going along with the Barbie analogy), I realized that he was just a shiny piece of beauty with hollow insides.

God, he's so hollow.

He's so shallow.

He doesn't care about anyone but himself.

And he knows it too.

He might be a Barbie doll, but I'm nothing more than a plastic sportscar he can show off to his friends and ride around with without a care in the world if I get scratched along the rough terrain. He doesn't care that he can't just leave me out in the driveway when he's done with me just to let the elements torment when he isn't looking. He can't expect to come out only when it's convenient for him to take a drive.

I have feelings too.

A lot of them.

And this sportscar needs to drive away.

Xoxo, Alina

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