Dear Future Husband

June 5, 2019

Dear Future Husband,

Last day of school! Finally! Well, then we have finals, but at least I don't have to worry about homework or pop quizzes or dragging myself through Spanish every day.

Tenth grade was a good year, I really will miss it. I think I finally found myself and my people this year, and that's really nice to know, plus a great thing to have heading into the hardest year of high school.

Now myself and my people can enjoy summerrrr :)

Today was your classic last day of school, one big blowoff because teachers couldn't handle the anxious kids with no more tolerance for school, so we just signed yearbooks and watched movies to pass the time.

I had a rough time leaving chem. It was a great class this year, and I owed it some credit in getting Grant and I together. If he hadn't been switched into my class we probably wouldn't have gotten as close as we did, and I'm really grateful for that.

Speaking of that, Grant isn't too badly hurt, but he definitely gave me a pretty substantial blow. He completely disregarded me when I went to see him at the hospital and it really hurt me. I cried in the bathroom for ten minutes before calling my mom to pick me up and spent the time it took for her to get there trying to make myself look decent and forget about what he had said.

I felt so small, so useless, so unwanted. It was embarrassing. I was embarrassed that I had tried to care and been tossed to the side, and it hurt a lot.

I was too scared to text Grant, and even if I wasn't, I wouldn't have known what to say. I didn't think he wanted me anymore. I didn't want to give him anymore stress than he already had, and I most definitely did not want to be yelled at again, so I decided it was better to let him cool off before blowing up his phone.

Sunday night he called me and I thought for sure he was going to officially end it.

"Hello?" I answered, trying to keep my voice steady.

"Hey, Alina." He sighed.

"Uh," I was too busy freaking out I didn't really know what to say. I didn't want to piss him off but I didn't want to say nothing either. "How are you feeling?"

"Same." He said. "How about you? How are you feeling?"

I swallowed the tears crawling up my throat. "I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?"

"Because I was a dick." He said quickly. "I was a fucking asshole and I don't know how you're feeling after that and I wanted to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine, Grant, it's fine really-"

"No it's not fine, and I really need to apologize and I would've come over to tell you in person but I can't drive so I hope this is okay. I'm really sorry, Alina, I just spoke and I didn't think and I didn't mean it at all it was just the wrong words in the wrong places and you know I'm not good at talking but that's no excuse because I'm just an asshole." He took a deep breath. "You were right about everything, and I should've listened to you. I know you were just trying to help and I really appreciate it. I more than appreciate it, it's one of the reasons I'm so proud to call you my girlfriend, and I'm really sorry for making it seem otherwise."

I took a huge sigh of relief, the tears receding back into my body. "Thank you, I-" I took a deep breath. "I'm glad you're not mad and I'm glad you want me to be your girlfriend and-"

"God, I wish I was with you right now so I could just kiss you." He laughed.

I laughed back, biting my lip. "That would be a lot easier than trying to verbally kiss you."