Boe

Part 54

"I want us to work but I just want to let you know I found out I do love you I'm just scared and it honestly takes a lot for me to say" I say.

"But your not the only one scared you don't see me run" he says annoyed.

"But I'm just scared to be betrayed and if we're being real you betrayed me and I know it's been the drugs fault but come on please watch how much you take for me..... I um loved my dad to death yknow and well he loved me too but Handro he loved me in a wrong way and one thing led to another and well he raped me" I choke out and let a tear out letting it out and he looks up and is about to say something but I stop him so I can't officially let everything out.

"I feel disgusting and I just want you to know I love you and am just scared to get hurt and betrayed again but obviously in a different way. But I just the other time I had a panic attack it was because when that guy snuck in it reminded me of everything thennnn with the Veronica thing my heart just ached so much and I had a dream us making up and I knew it was time meeting with you because I should trust you and if I really want this to work I can't just walk away" I sigh wiping the little tears I had.

"I wow um your right though I been thinking too and I think it's best we separate actually because I don't want to hurt you" he admits letting a tear escape. What no no I need him badly.

"It's gonna hurt a fucking lot but you deserve better" he sighs. If only he knew how much I actually suffered without him. I can't leave him leave me knowing this can possibly work out.

"No because I know damn well I can't live without you Handro and this little break between us opened my eyes and I don't care what happened when we were apart with other girls because I know you missed me too so why hurt our feeling thinking were doing it for the best I don't care I love you and ima trust you" I shout crying not wanting it to end just like that.

"I don't even know how to act in a relationship doesn't that bother you" he frowns.

"I don't either but don't give up on us because we just need to know how to communicate our feelings you know how we feel" I say.

"FUCK HENNESSY DONT YOU GET IT IM AN ASSHOLE YOU DESERVE WAY BETTER YES I LOVE YOU BUT THATS NOTHING COMPARE TO WHAT YOU DESERVE" he yells pushing my hands away.

"I don't care I love you" I cry out trying to grab his hands in mine.

"I just love you too much mamas I want the best for you and you should want the best for yourself as well" he sighs scooting away.

"You are the best for me and I'm not leaving because Alejandro I fucking love you to much and will take your imperfect you any day" I shout.

"I'm scared too" he admits I then get close again and I grab his hands and I watch him look at me hurt with watery eyes.

"You left me like nothing" he cries out pushing me away. I then felt my body ache. I'm the worst. If anything he deserved way better.

"I hated being without you yknow and I moped around and only performed when I felt okay I'm a joke without you and I want you all to myself and I feel selfish but your right why won't we put our happiness before the I thinks..... I'm scared of getting played and used and I'm sorry for what that bastard did to you" he says looking at my tears and he then gets up helping me back up and pulls me on his lap hugging me.

"Please let me know how your feeling and how I can help or anything like that because Gosh Handro I'm so lonely and sad without you" I sigh and smell in that cologne I love.

I then feel him hug me tighter and I feel his hands feel me all over and I find my hands in his face and I make him face me and I kiss him gently and he grabs my face somehow wanting us to be pulled closer but I wanted closer then this closer.

I then let tears out loving how I was back with him. I finally felt happy. I finally knew for sure I did hurt him and hated that. I then felt him drop two tears but for Handro that was a lot so I was so satisfied knowing he cared. I then peck him and he then feel pulls me closer I then grab his hair and he grunts putting his tongue in my mouth by surprise.

"Handro I'm sorry I left you just like I accused you of running away from problems but I ran away" I say letting go of his lips.

"You know I missed this I felt dead without you and if I'm being honest I didn't even sleep with girls so don't trip, all I imagined every night was being with you and it hurt not hearing from you I feel broken hearted still if I'm being honest" I then break hearing that and pull him in for a hug and he rubs my back.

"Let's cuddle I missed you against me" he groans holding my waist.

I nod and lay in the bed and he lays facing me and I smile and kiss him again and I feel complete. I then hug him tighter scared he'll disappear on me and I soon knock out.