This time I knew it was actually me who wanted his lips. Not because I was high but because I wanted too. Did I do it? No.
It was 3am and I wasn't able to sleep. All I can think is am I wrong for doing this, am I wrong for letting him hurt, and lastly am I wrong for not following my heart?
He was holding me so tight and he was snoring lightly in my neck. I kept playing with his hair. I fell and I fell so hard for this one.
Did he deserve me? Probably not.
Did I deserve him? No, he deserved someone understanding.
Hennessy.0:
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Hennessy.0: old photo 🤧🤐
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To.bee: who took it tho 🧐 Replied: yknow who did 🙄
Fenixflexin: @ohgeesy you took this b4 huh? Replied: he did b4
Masterkato: naughty children
I then looked down to see Handro analyzing my face and I squirmed feeling insecure. He just smiled slightly but kept quiet.
"Handro I miss you" I admit whispering
He then wipes the tear that falls and just pulls me into his chest rubbing my head. He never said anything just kept quiet and helped me fall asleep.
11:12am
I wake up alone and the reason I wake up is because it's cold without him. I then get up and frown but try my best to smile but I nearly cried instead.
12 Instagram notifications
I then open it and it leads to my latest post to the comments.
Ohgeesy: 😯 I remember
Fenixflexin: damnnnnnnnnnn it was you??
To.bee: 🤭
Ohgeesy: miss that us 🤕
User1: noooooo 😭😭😭😭😭
Lilskies: ngl miss y'all 👫
I then turn my phone off and let it finish charging. How he's gonna say that but he left me??
The most trippy part is Skies saying he missed me and Handro together. Like what?
I then go to the kitchen where I find Handro eating cereal. What the? I thought he left. I don't say anything just sit across him.
Is this another mistake if I take him back in, that's my big question and the only thing holding me back.
"Morning got you waffles, sausages, and eggs from the breakfast place" he says passing me the food.
I don't say anything other than a thank you and he smiles. Although he smiled when I see his eyes droopy I knew he was sad. I don't bring it up just stay quiet and eat.
"I- want to officially talk in a matured way and me not being high off xans" he says and I look up nodding.
"Xans" I question worried and he nods.
Wow what hasn't he done when I was gone.
"Now or" I ask looking up but avoiding any eye contact.
"However you prefer" he responds.
"Now"
He then tells me what led for him to cheat. The drugs he was on. He lets me know how he's been. I would usually be iffy but he looks straight in my eyes and I stay quiet listening. He tells me how he regrets everything and why he hasn't let me known sooner.
I didn't know what to think or say. The fact that he thought horribly while on xans was horrible.
"So your more of a dick when your on xans" I ask and he nods.
"I just really miss you" he sighs putting his head down but he continues looking at me for a reaction.
"If drugs make you do these things why do you still do it" I roll my eyes.
"Because just like girls they been there when I felt down but I used them horribly but I'm so used to it being a go to" he says
"I don't know" I sigh
"Just know I love you I'll give you space" he says getting up.
"NO, please stay" I immediately say and he sits back down.
"I'm hurt but if you leave if I'm being honest I'll talk my self in that I'm better off without you and hurt myself by separating us more" I admit.
"What are we" He ask
"You tell me am I really going to be your boo and hoe which leads to a boe or will I just be one thing" I ask
"I have to get my shit together and then I'll let you know" he responds and gets up and leaves. I didn't stop him knowing he had a lot to think.
