TJL#19# Tale Of A Lonely Princess

More Than Myself

Crystal's POV

It was no much noise around. I don't know where I was. I felt a group of people surrounding me discussing about something. I tried to open my eyes but I was tired. I couldn't open them. I wanted to sleep. I closed them again. But suddenly I remembered about my parents. I immediately wanted to wake up but I felt like my optic nerves were sleeping or they were just too lazy to help me. I begged them to start work and help me to open my eyes but they showed me extreme ego. They decided to sleep and keeping me closing eyes. I being helpless kept lying like a dead body. Soon my senses slept as well that was when I slept for real.

The next time when I tried to open my eyes I felt my head was heavy like a mountain. I must have given a strong dose of anesthesia. I decided to sleep for awhile. I still don't know if I am alive or not. But who cares!!! If I am dead then I can't make myself alive anyhow. If I am already dead then I will keep missing my parents and Eugene to the eternity.

I really didn't want to leave them but I don't know someone shoot me purposely or not. I know it will make my parents suffer but they were my world. I can't be living my life happily when they are not around. Actually I don't want to. It's better to die. But the only matter of regretting is I couldn't say Eugene how much I loved him. I wish I could get one more day then I would definitely have said 'I love you' to him. I wish only one day more that I could spend with him!!! I just wish. But now it can't be happened. I wish he finds out someone perfect who can be with him to the eternity. That will make me happy. It really will. Don't know if I will be jealous or not. Should I be jealous?! I don't know. May be I should, may be I shouldn't. I definitely should be happy if Eugene is happy. May be this is what God wanted. May be we weren't mean to be together. So, I don't regret. Let God decide what's best for us. I just wish if I am dead then my parents are ok. I know it will be very hard for them but I had no other option but to do it. I am so sorry. I closed my eyes totally in a confused state.

I slowly opened my eyes when I found my head is a bit light but I was feeling nausea. I felt a numb pain on my chest. Do souls feel pain!?? May be I am in hell this is why I was feeling the pain. I tried to remember the bad things I have done in my life and try to imagine how hard  punishment I can get.

I opened my eyes again. My vision got blur to clear slowly. I felt my right hand was stuck somewhere. I got a familiar sweet smell. I know that perfume. Once I got to see things clearly I found my mom sleeping sitting beside me. Her one arm was wrapped around my waist. And I found my right hand wasn't stuck anywhere. Actually my dad was sleeping holding my hand tightly in his grip like I will be lost if he let it go. I got shocked. Why my parents are here in the hell?!! Shouldn't they be in the heaven?! No, they should be in the earth living their lives.

You are alive, Stupid!!! My brain screamed as I found myself in the hospital bed.

But how!!! Has the bullet didn't hit the right place!!! God knows. But I felt it was coming towards my heart. Then where did the bloody bullet go?! Screw it!!! I know that my heart is in the right side of my chest. Yes, I have dextrocardia. But still I felt that the bullet was going to stuck on my heart. May be it couldn't reach there in the first place.

" Crystal!!!!" I heard Mom. I smiled a bit.

" Mamma C." I said.

" My baby girl." She said and kissed on my forehead. I chuckled.

" Crystal!! You wake up?" I heard Dad. I nodded.

" I thought that I was dead and I was in hell." I giggled. Ouch it hurts on the stitches.

" Ssssssshhh!! Don't say that." Dad said and kissed on my hand that he was holding tightly all that time. " I will go and tell everyone that she is up." He stood up and patted my head.

" Call the doctor as well, Benedict." Mom said.

" Ok, I will. You stay here with her." He said and left.

" Mom, how is Thea? Is she fine?" I asked her worriedly. Please, say yes.

" Yeah, she is fine. She was asking for you a lot. But we couldn't tell her as she was so weak that time. So, the doctor gave her sleeping pill. Now when she will wake up she can meet you." She said.

I sighed deeply letting go the breath that I was holding all the time. My sister was fine. I can't thank God enough. He is so kind. We can't even describe how much of kind he is to us. Do we ever think about it properly and thank him for what he gave us even without asking for!!!

" Thanks God. I thought something bad might have happened." I told her. " Everyone is ok, right? Anyone else got injured except Thea and me?" I asked her.

" No. No one else got injured except you two." She said. " You should take rest. Don't talk too much." She said checking my pulse.

" Didn't the bullet hit my heart? I thought it hit on the right side of my chest." I asked Mom.

" You knew that you have dextrocardia?" She asked me.

" Yes, Mom. I knew about it. From long." I said to her. She nodded weakly. " I didn't know it was so important so I didn't tell anyone about it."

" You should have." She said.

" Ok, I am sorry." I said and the door opened. Everyone entered into the room. I smiled weakly at them. But I couldn't find Eugene. He was nowhere to be seen. I sighed deeply. Where is he!!!

I talked with them for awhile then everyone left. The doctor gave me check-up and confirmed that everything was ok. But I was still waiting for the person to come to see me whom I love more than myself.