Double Dose (Part 9)

Intuition

Quick note before you begin this chapter. I know many of you might be wondering what this had to do with Mizery's story and yes this is still her book. However this is a vital chapter so you will understand what is to come later on. Don't worry, we will be getting back to Mizery soon.

Word of advice... To those who haven't read CJ and Alice's book you might want to do you're not confused. To those who have forgotten you may want to skim back over it. (Double Down)

Yes, I know it may seem that the Harper's Empire is falling apart at the seams but keep in mind that there must be many hardships in order to shine!!

Lastly... A big thank you to those who have nominated my work in the wattpad fiction awards 2019!!

Now, read on reader's..

Whoops.... Also keep in mind that you haven't heard CJ's side of the story before you go off hating...lol

The night was cold as usual even though I was bundled up in my most cozy throw blanket on the couch. This was no different from any other night. The room was filled with darkness as I didn't have the lights on. Not a morsel of light filtered the room. My shades were drawn so not even moonlight could shine in. My bottle of liquor sat before me like most night's.... Except tonight would end differently.

I hear the hallway clock chime midnight and I knew it wouldn't be much longer. As usual I was home alone awaiting CJ's arrival. Lying on the table before me was an envelope that contained so many unanswered questions.... Questions I already knew the answer to. My mind always knew it but the problem was convincing my heart.

I can't recall the time I had spoken to CJ or even saw him for that matter. I can't even remember the last time we accidentally brushed against each other's shoulders. By the time he returns at night I'm passed out on the couch from drinking myself into a stupor and by the time I wake he has already left for the day. When I do get the chance to confront him he gives me the same old lame excuse.... "Working". But I'm no longer buying that. This game is over and I am done.

Now before you can even say that I didn't fight for my marriage let me warn you, I did. I cried, lashed out in anger, begged and pleaded but nothing got through to him. I'd plan a romantic evening to try and recapture what we could have had only to spend them alone. I even  had a make over in hope's of snagging his attention again but not even that caused a stir from him. It's hard to fight for our marriage when you're the only one trying to save it.

Then those word's long ago pop into my mind on nights like this. Word's that haunt me. Word's spoken from a love that I denied. A love that I rejected. I'll never forget Sire's word's and thank how true they now sound.

" He doesn't love you Alice. He only thinks he does. He loves to control you. You came into his life at a very sad time for him. We had just lost our grandparents and he was grieving. You was a distraction from his pain. He wanted to have a love like my grandparents shared but that's impossible. I know CJ better than most and I can tell you that he doesn't love you....but I do ".

True,everyone try to reason with CO including myself but saying no to his marriage proposal wasn't an option. Yes, I loved CJ and still do but I can't continue to live like this anymore. Everyone said that if he forced me into marriage or that we married to quickly that our marriage would be doomed. However I did convince him to wait longer but his patience was thin. Within three month's I was his new bride.

It's also moments like this that make me wonder if I chose wrong. Would my life be different had I chosen Sire? Yes, at the time I did love CJ but I had some form of unexplainable feelings towards Sire. Then we shared a kiss and I never wanted to admit to myself  but I felt an electric current pulse through me way different than when I was with CJ. Many time's now I wish I would have chosen Sire and taken him up on his offer. He begged me to run off with him but I shot him down. I haven't spoken to Sire since I said my vows. Yes, occasionally we pass each other in the hall's or at family functions but no word's are passed between us. The only thing shared are the occasional awkward glances and I have to wonder if ignores me because CJ has forbidden us to have any form of contact whatsoever or because he hates me.