Percy Jackson Gay Ships

Christmas Prompts (25/25)

Ship: Percy x Everyone/no one (Platonic/familial)
Prompt: Be the present.

This chapter honestly makes no sense. Please enjoy this bunch of words.

Despite having been told no, Percy, we had this conversation last year. (And the year before), Percy had still gone ahead and done exactly what he'd promised not to.

Show love to the people he cared about, because apparently, that wasn't something he was allowed to do.

(It wasn't that deep. And Percy knew that, too. Knew deep down that he was reading too far into it, too far into the situation.)

He knew everyones' main fears stemmed from him getting a job, as was usual for him at this time of the year.

(He was sure he could keep the jobs far longer than at least a few months, but it was like attending school again; nobody wanted him to be there, ever.)

This job, a simple few hours at a bakery every day, was the longest he'd had yet. It was just passing mid-December and Percy had had this job since late August.

What a shock that was to him.

Each of his paychecks went towards Christmas presents, or to his mom as rent, despite being assured time and time again that no, it didn't matter that he was nineteen and still living with his parents.

Percy didn't believe them.

It mattered to him. It really, really mattered. His mom had cared for him all of his life, no matter the danger she put herself in because of it. Percy just needed to do this, needed to give back. Why was that so hard for people to understand?

Even though he'd saved enough money to buy fancy presents with no meaning, Percy instead purchased the supplies to make homemade gifts, as many as his hands could make.

(He of course matched each one with a nice little store-bought gift too, to silence the niggling of insecurity at the back of his mind.)

And when his hands grew achy, or his body tired, he just pictured the happy faces of his loved ones, stirring himself on.

He'd finished wrapping and/or bagging all of his presents two days ago, and had since that point been making DIY trinkets or jewelry - or something similar - to gift to other campers. To the newer ones who he knew had no clue who he was, to the campers he barely spoke with, ones he didn't know.

He just wanted, this Christmas, for everyone to feel the way he did when he thought of someone he cared about, someone he loved. Wanted them to feel the overwhelming care and affection that exploded inside his chest. The warmth that fluttered around inside his stomach, like butterflies. But he also wanted them to not have to cling onto every compliment or word of praise they rceieved, seeking out fond looks and tender touches.

Percy wanted them all to feel as loved and cared for as he did.

The day he got sacked from the bakery, Percy felt a little like a big disappointment.

Three days before Christmas, he gets fired from the best job he's ever had, the job he - and many others -  thought was perfect for him. Apparently not.

And all of this because he had asked a young girl and her father to leave. Perhaps rather rudely, but Percy had found himself rather irritable that day, - he didn't know why - and listening to some bratty child harass one of Percy's regulars, a sweet old man who just liked to start his mornings with a nice hot chocolate and a blueberry muffin, didn't help calm him any.

What a great way to start his Christmas.

Luckily, Percy told himself, you've already sorted all their gifts.

He was scrambling for a bright side to this and Percy knew it, but he found he couldn't care.

He just, he really wanted there to be a bright side. Always does, always had. But he knows there isn't always a bright side. Sometimes, it feels like there will never be a bright side.

But then his mom would smile at him, Grover would share his tin cans, Annabeth wouldn't try to murder him with her eyes, Nico wouldn't leave him. Clarisse wouldn't insult him.

There was always something, someone to remind him that there was a bright side; it didn't have to be different depending on the situation. Whether it was Travis and Connor sharing the details of their next prank with him, Paul patting his shoulder proudly, Will's fond eye roll as Percy showed up to the infirmary - again.

Sometimes, Tyson would send him a weapon he made, just for Percy. Poseidon would do something small that showed he was still there, perhaps just a washed-up seashell as Percy strolled across a beach.

There was others too, other times, other people. And Percy treasured each memory, each encounter, as best he could.

Those memories gave him the need to give, give back, just give. He did the right thing, in Percy's eyes. And Percy loved it. Loved the right thing, doing the right thing. Loved the way he could so easily bring joy to those around him. Easily pull reluctant laughs and small, maybe shy smiles from people.

He just, he loved it. Loved this, them.

That's what he didn't understand sometimes. Why wouldn't people take his thanks, his love? Why did people deny him something that he needed right down to his core?

He hated the answers he always recieved when he asked someone.

'I don't need this, I have you.'

'Percy, thank you, really, but take this back. Please.'

'Why did you do that? You wanted to? That's not a good enough reason Percy.'

'Sweetie, I know you tried, thank you. But you didn't need to do this for me.'

'You didn't have to.'

'I can't accept this.'

'Gods no, Prissy.'

Please, Percy always thought. Just take it, have it, let me do this. Just, please, let me love you. That's all I want.

And it was, all he wanted. He just wanted to care and appreciate. Just wanted to love.

He didn't want to be the present, like they all say he is. Because he's not enough, he knows he's not enough. They deserve more, deserve more than him. So he tries. He tries, and tries, and tries.

And they never accept. Which hurts, hurts so much. And then they're seeing his hurt and they're accepting anyway and Percy is amazed, awed, at how awesome these people are, at how much they care for him.

He doesn't understand how he could be their present when it's so obviously the other way around. Percy sits as gift after gift is handed to him, some he abandons by accident, too enamoured with some of his others. Like a child with several new toys, accidentally forgetting one in favour of the others but feeling guilty after.

But then it doesn't matter because he makes it up, just as a child who refuses to put that toy down, perhaps play with another. Because no, that's not fair.

And then the child is lectured about favouritism, perhaps in a teasing, jokey way but the child is scared now, scared they've made their other toys upset. So now they must play with every toy they own, cuddle every teddy they can find.

Sometimes, Percy feels a bit too much like that child and it worries him.