Percy Jackson Gay Ships

Distanced

For td90328; sorry it took so long. I hope this is okay!

Percy can't help that little shadow of hatred he feels within. As of now, so small it's barely even there - he thinks if he really wants to, he could so easily ignore it. But then, this is what he deserves. He deserves to feel it trickle through his veins, to know it's bubbling hot at his centre.

He, he does. He knows he does.

No one can, should, take this hatred away from him; it's what he needs. He needs it to keep going, he wants to keep going, he does.

It's just, no one else seems to want him to.

And that - it gets to him. He tries not to let that information matter, but it's such a big thing, how could he not?

Percy gasps as a shiver wracks his entire body, his shaky hands rushing to pull the thin material back over his shoulders; it was better than nothing, even if it felt as if he had no blanket at all. By the pale, slightly blue tint to his skin and the goosebumps all down his arms, you definitely wouldn't think he had anything to cover himself with.

He could just picture the redness of his ears at this point, his head tilting and hitting his shoulder every so often to supply some warmth. The movement from the switch between which ear hit his shoulders helped with the pain at the back of his head, slightly to the left. It was such a cold, itchy-but-not-itchy, pain.

His toes felt like they were trying to curl in on themselves, feeling so far away from the rest of his body. If he wasn't so busy digging his knees into his chest to try and get smaller - warmer - then he definitely would have sat on his feet already, which would have hopefully applied a level of warmth to the majority of his feet.

A part of Percy, somewhere at the back of his mind - like the pain at the back of his head, coincidentally - wonders if he really did the right thing, by leaving. After everything he's done, put up with, experienced, he just leaves. It was all for nothing, seemingly. But, it wasn't. Percy helped save the world. Repeatedly. That's not for nothing.

What Percy did, what he does, means something. Always has. So why, now, did it seem to mean so little? Why, now, was it a reason to treat him like nothing. Treat him like nothing before he could show his true self, they'd said. Hurt him before he could hurt them.

Percy didn't like hurting people. He didn't want to hurt anyone, never had. Well, almost. Obviously, there were some necessary exceptions to that.

Percy liked to hope he knew his true self, was, his true self. So, why did no one else seem to think so?

Because they just didn't like him, possibly. Percy knew he wasn't the most likeable of beings. So, why, should those he likes be forced to like him, too?

Why should anyone like him?

As Percy's eyes blink open lazily, he startles. The air around him has gone light, the night having disappeared.

Before the sleep can properly leave his body he's up, shoving his thin blanket inside his backpack hurriedly as he stumbles along messily.

It's another three days before Percy gets a real chance to rest. He's tired, exhausted, whatever. At least, he still has a purpose. Somewhat. He's dragging it out, milking it for all it's worth; and he knows that. Just, Percy lives for this.

Percy lives for a purpose.

And this, helping dangered demigods find their way, providing them with as much knowledge and training as he can in however long a time period he gets, is his purpose.

With this, Percy can so easily fool himself that he means something.

That's the last thought he has before his eyes finally slip closed.

Two days later and Percy's finds himself panicking, frightened.

Every procedure is of course different, but they each have the same goal. Travel the journey, fight the immortal being (whether it be a monster or deity), keep the demigod alive, teach them at least the basics, pass on any further knowledge in some cases, and then. Then, he passes them on to Grover. And leaves before he can make contact with him.

This time, this time however, Grover is here earlier. He's been early before, but Percy's smart. He hides; gets there earlier than even Grover does; simply doesn't get close enough. Runs away as fast as he can as Grover trots along after him before eventually going back. He has demigods to drop off, after all.

Because no matter how much he cares for Percy, he promised him this much.

So there Percy is, giving a piggyback ride to this kid who refused to give him their name, arms wrapped around his neck a bit too tight for his liking. Next to him is their sniggering older sister, who refuses to give him more than a nickname in order to amuse the little one.

Now, nicknames, Percy can do. What he can't do, is irritating children who provide too much pressure to his wind pipe.

Not necessarily unwanted pressure, that's not what he's saying. Just, too much. Too much, is all.

When they finally reach the agreed-upon clearing (one that has now become the permanent meeting place for this area), Percy stops. Stood in the middle of the clearing is Grover, his face surprisingly blank despite the storm of emotions swirling in his eyes.

Percy inhaled sharply before pulling the small arms from around his neck, dropping the child to the ground lightly before pushing them towards Grover.

He pats them on the head once, partly ruffling their hair, before he turns to their sister.

"Good luck." He says, his smile small and tight. She looks slightly put off, as do a lot of the demigods he helps. Why, he doesn't know. They all know he has to leave eventually, sometimes sooner, sometimes later.

Percy tries not to look at Grover a last time as he pats her shoulder once, then ruffles her hair too.

He doesn't look back, he never does. He knows not to at this point.

No matter how long a journey he spends with them, his stupid heart always finds a way to make a connection, some stronger than others.

With his backpack strapped over his shoulders, he headed off.

Grover watched him walk away - again - ignoring the familiar stabbing pain in his heart only because this one time had given him the hope he so desperately needed when it came to his best friend. Even without that, this look at Percy had been so long-awaited, he couldn't do more than smile reassuringly at his new companions before beckoning them over.

Grover knew it wouldn't be easy though, Percy would now expect Grover to show up earlier and earlier. But at this point, Grover didn't care. He'd do whatever it took, whatever he could, to at least see Percy again.

They had too much history between them to just let him go so easily.

Unlike everyone else, Grover wasn't secretly power-hungry and selfish at his core.

Which is why Percy still kept him around.

Well, as much as he could whilst still keeping him at a safe distance, that is.