Percy Jackson Gay Ships

Lukercy (Angst)

Dear Diary,

We were talking about the war today, about how he betrayed us. Everyone made sure their opinion of him was known, even those who had never met him. How can you properly form an opinion of someone you've never even met? I miss him. I miss the way his eyes would twinkle when talking about new prank ideas. I miss the look he'd get when he thought no one was looking. I miss the little things he used to do for me. It wasn't much, how could it be when we were on two different sides of the same war? I miss the feeling I'd get when I'd return home from school to find a note on my bed. It was silly, but those notes - the notes where all he wrote was how much he loved me - never failed to put a smile on my face. He never failed to put a smile on my face. I miss him. Miss the way he'd laugh at my jokes which we both knew weren't funny. But he laughed, we both did, knowing it was a way to keep the topic of the pending war as far away as possible. I miss the way his eyes would light up whenever he saw me. I miss the way he'd try to act like he didn't care at all. That I was nothing but a nuisance to him. I miss it, it was always followed by sweet praises and feather-like kisses. I hate the way he had to pretend he didn't care, that I wasn't allowed to show him off. I felt like I was a little kid who had gotten into a fight with their best friend because both of them wanted the same toy and their parents refused to buy it for them. But then my parents got me the toy and my best friend wasn't allowed to know because it would ruin our friendship. I had to pretend like I didn't already have the toy. Play with it in secret. Annabeth could never know that I'd already scored our shared object of affection. That he chose me. I hate that when he'd get angry he refused to shout. He said he loved me too much to hurt me like that. But it hurt more when he'd just sigh and look away, a look of disappointment on his face. I hated the calm words, quiet and biting. We'd make up and suddenly it was worth it. The pain caused by that look of disappointment. By those biting words. He loved me. I loved him. I missed him.

He loved me. I love him. I miss him.

And now he's gone.

-Percy