my best friends brother

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Cc said I'm gonna tear up this food and we all instantly started laughing. I didn't eat because I wasn't hungry every one said ok I don't mind. Everyone started talking and eating I felt a ping in my chest. I started having a panic attack I tried not to cry in front of everyone. I excused my self  and went to the bathroom and climbed in the tub and put my knees against my chest and I started crying quietly. Someone knocked on the door and I looked up Andy said hey babe and he crouched down and said hey hun wats wrong. I couldn't breathe and just buried my head in my knees. Andy ran his hand down my back and kissed my head and crossed his legs and put his head on the edge of the tub and kept rubbing my back he said shhh babe it's ok. I looked at andy and he said aww babe my robe was covered in tears and I sighed and said fuck andy grabbed a towel and handed it to me and I put it over my knees. Andy said babe wats wrong I sighed and said I love you Andrew he said I love you more Lilly. Lacey and Cc walked inside and saw us she said babe andy said go I got her lacey hopped on the counter and said nope and I just smiled slightly andy looked at me and moved my hair. I sighed and said ok I guess I'm just scared of growing up. I looked at andy he gave me a sympathetic look he said I know every one is afraid of growing up. I said I'm scared to leave my mom but I know I have to grow up eventually I laughed. Andy said I know you will miss your mom because she raised and that's normal. Andy said you can see her whenever you want I smiled and said really. Andy laughed and said I'm not going to keep you from your mom I smiled and pulled him closer and kissed him andy put his hand on my face and pulled back smiling. Andy said I love you so much Lilly I smiled and said I love you more Andrew and we both smiled. Lacey and Cc both said awwww I laughed and rolled my eyes. Andy wiped my face with the towel and said my baby and kissed my forehead and I started blushing slightly. Lacey and Cc left the bathroom and me and Andy talked for a while and he made me laugh and that made me feel a lot better and Andy smiled as well. Andy helped me out of the tub and I said thanks he kissed me and said of course babe let's go I said Andrew he hummed I said I don't think I'm in the mood for sex tonight. Andy said ok we don't have to I said I'm sorry he said no don't apologize I understand and respect that I smiled and said ok. Andy had his arm wrapped around my waist so I wouldn't fall because my back hurt now I climbed onto the bed Cc and lacey were done with their food. Lacey wrapped her arms around me and kissed my head while andy continued eating. I said what made you check on me andy put his fork down and said I saw your face and you looked like you wanted to cry so I wanted to make sure you were ok. He also said and low and behold you were crying in the bathroom. Specifically the bathtub and I looked down and played with them hem of my robe and said oh my bad. Andy sighed and said no its fine I just wanted to make sure you weren't going to do self harm I looked up at him and his eyes were watering slightly. Andy said because I can't loose you I laughed and said you sound like my mom I'm not going anywhere he said I know. Lacey said she does joke about suicide a lot I said oh I know and smiled every one rolled there eyes and Andy continued eating and said it's not funny I said yea I know trust me I almost killed myself at 12 its fine. All the bvb members know my past and I have their numbers in case I need any one to talk to. Andy said just promise you won't harm yourself or if you get thoughts plz tell me I said ok I got it and he said ok and smiled slightly. Lacey said I'm sleeping here and andy can sleep with Cc he said hey she said no I'm concerned about my best friend. I rolled my eyes and groaned ugh she said huh I said I'm sick and tired of every one being concerned about me. I put on a shirt and shorts in front of everyone andy just looked shocked Lacey did the same thing. Andy said what do you mean your tired about every one being concerned about you. I said I'm fucking tired of everyone having to be worried about me like yea I'm fucked up but I'm not gonna kill myself over it and I just laughed. Andy said were always gonna be worried about you I said stop fucking worrying about me so damn much. Andy said Lilly that's not true stop we all care about you I smiled and said well fucking goody how fun. I said why can't just people stop worrying about me I'm not that important everyone said HEY SHUT UP YOU ARE EXTREMELY IMPORTANT TO LITERALLY ALL OF US. I just looked at everyone and rolled my eyes I put on my shoes and walked out the door and closed it and started walking to the elevator. The elevator door closed and I pressed the lobby button I got down to the lobby and saw 3 out of breathe people breathing heavily. They said stop whatever your doing is stupid I said LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE ALL I WANT IS TO BE ALONE. Andy looked at me and said babe plzzz just calm down people were looking at us I sighed and walked out the door andy said fuck and they continued going after I didn't care I just wanted to be alone. I got outside and the weather felt really nice I started walking quickly towards I don't fucking know what. I don't know why I was so mad I just was I'm not sure if it's do to all my past trauma I just wanted to sleep somewhere far away. I got to a sign and looked and didn't see andy or the others I sat on the curb and started crying. A young woman around 30 sat next to me and rubbed my back I jumped and she said I'm really sorry I said no its ok and sniffed she said are you ok. I shook my head no she said my name is Summer I said hi my name is Lilly she said hi you wanna talk about it hun I said yea. She helped me up and we walked into a dinner I told her I recently got married she said congrats I said thank you then I told her everything and said I won't tell anyone I said thank you. We talked a while and she made me feel better a little while later 3 frantic people ran over to me and said Lilly what the hell they saw a woman and said um ok. I said you guys left andy said to get the car we do not exercise obviously the young woman laughed and said you must be her husband he said yes of course. She said my name is Summer he said hi I'm andy she said don't worry I calmed her down he said thank you. She smiled and said no of course she just looked like she needed someone to talk to. Andy looked at me and sighed and sat down Cc and lacey sat down as well he said hun why are you so upset and don't say it's nothing. I just sighed and looked at andy and my eyes started watering Summer said you should tell him what you told me I said I can't and I rested my head on his shoulder. Summer said ok I will she sighed and said your wife told me she wanted to kill herself I heard andys heart shatter he said huh. I heard andy starting to shake his voice got weak he said no she said yea shes been thinking about it for a while. Andy said Lilly plz tell that's not true I looked up and he wiped my eyes lacey and Cc were holding onto each other. I looked at andy in the eyes he looked like he wanted to cry he said babe how long I said since I was a kid he sighed and said I know but how recently. I looked down and said a couple months he said why didn't you tell me I said I don't fucking know he lifted my head up and kissed me and I wrapped my arms around his neck and I tasted his salty tears meaning he was started crying. Andy pulled back I said shit I didn't mean to make you cry he grabbed me and said stop I love you Lilly I smiled and said I love you too. Andy said do I make you feel like that I put my hands on his hips and said no I guess a while life time of trauma really fucks with you he said ye I know. I said andy he said hm I said when I'm with you I don't feel like I want to die lacey and Cc started crying andy said good I'm happy. I gave andy a hug and we talked for a while in the dinner I kept sincerely apolizing to andy and he would just say stoppp I would laugh every time. Andy kissed my head and he fixed my heart like it never broke in the beginning. We all hung out for a while I said thank you Ms Summer she smiled and said of course I said I really appreciate it she said of course hun and smiled and so did I. Cc said hey guys it's 5pm we all said damn wow she said I should get home we all got out of the booth and I gave her a hug I said thank u she gave me her number while it was just us. She said call if you need anything I smiled and said ok we all left and I told her bye we all hopped in the G wagon. Andy locked the doors and sighed I said do you wanna divorce me. Andy looked at me and said exsfuckingscue me I said yea he said um absofuckinglutey not I laughed and said are you sure. Andy laughed and kissed me passionately and said you fuckin dork no I'm not leaving your ass I said thank you he smiled and said no of course babe I love you too much and I smiled. We stopped at a fast food restaurant and got food and headed to the hotel we got there at 6pm. We all chilled on the bed and ate we also all used the restroom I took a couple pictures of us and posted it on Instagram. I said can you guys stay with us tonight andy looked at me and said ok we all layed down at 8pm Cc took a selfie of us and I laughed and posted it the caption said. "I love all these idiots and I'm happy I have all of them. Btww I love all of you guys to death 🥺😘😘😘." I plugged my phone in and got cuddled against andys chest I said who is against me lacey said bitchhh in my ear and we all started laughing I said oh my God you do that in the morning I'm pissing myself and we all laughed and fell asleep a little while later.