Gambling With Life

84

"jaylah?" "What?" "Can we talk please?" talk with me? Why the hell would he want to talk with me. I'm just some woman that trouble surrounds. That's good for nothing bar danger and loss' "jaylah. Please" jaylah took a deep breath before moving from the door and put her back to the bed. "It's open" Bronx sighed in relief and opened the door. Jaylah sat on the floor with her knees up and her hood on. Bronx closed the door, then moved to the wall opposite jaylah and sat down. "You wanted to talk to me?" "I'm worried about you. We all are" jaylah sat silent not giving bronx any clear vision of her face.
"You shut down and it's hurting everyone seeing you so down and depressed. So hurt and lost" "I can leave" "what? No I don't want you to leave jaylah. That's the last thing I want. I want to be here for you, to hold you, to sleep beside you" jaylah kept her head down "we want to help you jaylah but with everything thats happened to you, we know it's not easy" Bronx watched as jaylahs chest raised. "you need to talk about it all, to let it out, to heal" "I don't want to talk. I just want to disappear. This life.." "block those thoughts" "my whole fucking life has been full of pain, deceit and lies" Bronx knows she's struggling "I don't want to be here anymore" "at the house?" "Alive" Bronx took a deep breath as his eyes watered "no. We want you around. Every single person you are close with or have met, wants you around. We know your life has been difficult but there's a reason you are here" "Rey" Bronxs eyes went wide as he looked at jaylah in disbelief. "Rey?" "He kept me alive" "no your strength did. Your determination did" jaylah shook her head 'no it's not' Bronx knows she broken on the inside. Looking at all the photos around the room, Bronx spoke "he had been here for nearly ten years. Emit and kalem came together. I believe they were mates at school. Who the hell knows why they chose this life but it suited both. Kalem was always bouncing around and filling his face with food. I swear he used to train with food in his mouth. He was definitely the clown out of all my men. All the rest always had serious looks on their faces. Kalem.. never. he always had a goofy grin, cracking jokes but he also worked hard. He did a lot around here. Not just as a worker but as a friend to many" jaylah reached under the bed and grabbed a book, sliding it towards Bronx. When Bronx picked it up, he was curious as to what it was. Opening it up, Bronx took a deep breath. 'news paper articles' 'he lost his parents to a gang? This is why he joined' Bronx slid the book back and jaylah pushed it back under the bed. "Somehow he had attached himself to you. Calling you nicknames unless you were in trouble. then all we heard was jaylah lee around the house. Sometimes I thought that maybe you two Were together but then I realized it was just a great friendship. You both looked after each other, both joked around. He brought you out of that quiet office and got you associating with others and now you have so many people here for you. Rey, Christophe, Tyson, emit, Zaire, Nicole, Sally, vex, Lucian, myself.." jaylah shook her head "no. To Sally I'm just heartless and vex is no friend. You and Lucian just want to control me.." "no we care jaylah. Shit we have made some mistakes but even now, Lucian calls me every day, even twice a twice a day to ask how you are. I don't know what to tell him. You havent spoke to me, you are short with Sally after everything she has done to help" "she called me fucking heartless Bronx" jaylah shook her head in frustration and anger. "We know you aren't heartless jaylah, you are far from that. I didn't listen to what you were saying and the stupid boss side inside of me lost control. I regret it all jaylah. I.. I didn't think, I acted and it not only pushed you away, it.." Bronx choked "it killed our baby from the stress" jaylah held her knees to her chest as she kept her head down "Im sorry okay. I should've just fucking been obedient and listened like in the prison" "NO" Bronx took a deep breath "what we did was wrong. It was more than wrong. We should never have tied you up, never have tried to force you into a decision. You were struggling enough and we made it a thousand times worse. None of us thought about the repercussions of our actions. Fuck I wish I did. I wish I listened"  jaylah shook her head "it's my fault. It's all my fucking fault. Uncle's attacks, Lucian's attacks, kalems death, our babies death. ITS ALL MY FUCKING FAULT"  "NO" Bronx doesn't care if she fights him on it but he needs to comfort her. Moving to pull her on his lap, jaylah fought him on it "don't touch me" Bronx held her tight against his chest as tears streamed down not only her face but his. "Just let me fucking go" "no. You need to stop thinking this way. It's not good for you. It's not right. Rayal was the one who made the call. Lucian made the calls. Rayal could've spoke to you and let you live your life. Lucian could've called you. Shit I know you have been through a lot and I'm to blame too but you should never put it on your shoulders. You have done a lot for all those men out there, for me, for Nicole and Jackson. Kalem wouldn't want you to put the blame on your shoulders, he'd be kicking your ass right now for thinking this way. Every time you were down, he would kick your ass back into the strong, caring woman you are" jaylah stayed silent. She doesn't want to talk. she just wants to Wallow in self pity. Wants the world to go away. To get out of her face. Bronx took in her sweet smell of coconut and almond as he placed a lingering kiss on the crown of her head.
As the door opened up, Bronx clenched his hand. "Bronx.." Sally looked at the way Bronx held jaylah "Jackson and Nicole are leaving" jaylah immediately moved and Sally put her head down.
Jaylah entering the bathroom, she closed the door while Bronx stood up. "Sorry" Bronx shook his head "I better go say goodbye".
"Jackson and Nicole" "we need to head off. Is jaylah coming out?" "I don't know if that will happen" Nicole showed a slight nod "she's an amazing woman. I will definitely cherish these bracelets. I'm sure they weren't cheap either. They are a lovely gift for both of us. Please tell her I will contact her" "I will do that. Thanks for coming out, it's good to see you both and of course Jasmina" "she needs to get used to all the noise too. It's always quiet at home" "turn the music up" Jackson chuckled "she does. We'll see you all soon" "looking forward to it" bronx shook Jackson's hand just as the door opened up. Lucian looked at Nicole with a baby in her arms then at Bronx before giving his attention back to Nicole. "Congratulations" "thanks Lucian" "thanks" "so little and gorgeous. What's her name?" "Jasmina" Lucian showed a genuine smile "beautiful" "thank you. We were just heading off. Take care everyone" "you too".
As Nicole and Jackson walked out, Lucian spoke "how'd that go?" "A mix really. She had spent time with Nicole and held Jasmina. Gave the girls a present each and then went to her room" Lucian showed a slight nod. "her head space isn't good?" "Far from. She blames herself for everything. For this shit with rayal, you, kalems death, the loss of our baby. She doesn't want to be here anymore" "then she should move.." "not at the house Lucian. Just not here" hearing this, Christophes heart dropped. 'nuh-uh she can't be fucking blaming herself and there's no way I will allow her to leave this world before her fucking time. She is stronger than this' "what?" "That's what she said. She's a mess mentally Lucian. We need to be able to build her up somehow" "to see a counselor?" "It's her choice. I'm not making any decisions for her" Lucian ran his hand through his hair as his frustrations grew. "I have never dealt with her like this. Anger I can handle but not this. How are you holding up?" "It kills me inside and seeing Jasmina it's a mix of emotions. I'm thrilled I have a niece but it's hard to hold her without thinking of what could've been".