Astrophile

Happy Birthday Mikey

Guess what?! It's our baby's birthday!! He's so precious, imma cry.... Well, until he starts with that dark impulses shit... Anyways, HBD to our favorite 🔑!!

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2007

Mikey let out a small laugh as he finally walked inside the house. Waving at Mitsuya with one of his hands, the other firmly gripped onto the handle of the door.

He hated his birthday.

As much as he used to love them everytime when he was younger, ever since the year of 2003, the young Sano had come to despise the very day of his existence.

It was the same thing every year. His friends would meet up with him, give him their gifts, wander around Tokyo for a bit before ending the day and going their separate ways.

He didn't particularly mind the way his friends celebrated his birthday, because he knew damn well that they were being cautious with him. Mikey's birthday was always a constant reminder to him that the reason why his brother was on life support, was because of him.

If only he hadn't been so adamant about having the CB250T as his bike, and accepted any other one, then perhaps Shinichirō would still be annoying him, crying about how he had gotten rejected again.

With a soft sigh, the blonde walked swiftly through the house he had grown up in, walking around each and every turn and corner. Only to stand in front of his own room. After Shinichirō was admitted to the hospital, Mikey decided to take his room.

The short boy opened the door, keeping his eyes on the floor as he dragged his body inside. As soon as he shut the door, he leaned his back against the wooden surface of his bedroom door and slid down.

Mikey always felt lonely on his birthdays.

Pulling his knees to his chest, the blonde didn't bother changing from his light blue, oversized hoodie and dark, loose pants. He just placed his chin on top of his knees and stared at his hands.

Sometimes, Mikey wished you were with him so he could just hug you whenever he felt down.

The evergrowing urge to talk to you and hug you was starting to overwhelm the young boy, and in an attempt to seek out for you, he didn't think twice before calling your number.

He heard the rings.

One...

Two...

Three...

Then he heard your voicemail greeting.

"You have reached the voicemail [Last Name][Male Name]. Please leave a message."

Simple, yet so very soft.

Just like you, he thought.

With a soft smile playing on his lips, he heard the beep and without another thought... He let his mouth run.

"Hey, [Name]-chin... How's it going? I've only got 4 minutes for the message, huh? Well..."

The blonde quieted down. Now that he reached your voicemail, he didn't know what to say.

"Say, [Name]-chin? Do you ever find it easier to realise the things that you did wrong, than the things you did right? Now that I think about it, I can't recall doing anything good... Will I go to hell?"

Mikey stopped. Looking at his slender fingers that were peaking out from under his sleeves, he brought his thumb to his lips and bit on his thumbnail.

"Don't wanna know... I really don't. Do you remember when you told me that you can never appreciate happiness until you've experienced sadness? I don't know, but I feel like that isn't the case with me. Whenever I feel happy, I immediately ruin my mood by thinking about the problems I still have going on..."

"Does that make me a party pooper? Maybe it does? By the way, I'm happy for what everyone did today! I really liked the cake, it was nice..."

He stopped for a minute to check the time. There was still another three minutes left for him.

"You know? Smiley asked me what I wished for, when I blew out the candles, and I told him that I didn't know... But I think I do. I read one of Emma's mangas... This might be cheesy, but the guy said that he wanted to go out with the girl... Say, [Name]-chin, will you go out with me if I said that it's you that I wished for? Probably not, I'm gagging myself as I speak this bullshit..."

Mikey smiled to himself and patted his pockets, looking for the small gift you had gotten him a while ago. It was a cute keychain that consisted of three small teru teru bozu, which were charms that were used in Japan to stop rain. It looked super cute, and Manjirō had clipped it with his bike keys.

"The gift you had gotten me... It's supposed to ward off rain, right? That's nice! Thanks to this, I never get wet when I drive my bike!" The young boy cheered, checking to see that he only had one more minute left.

"I like you. I like you a lot, [Name]-chin. I like you so much that its starting to hurt me." He smiled at the charms in his hand, "Say... Even though the charms will keep the rain away, I want to be in the rain a little longer, so... will you be my rain bringer?"

Tears began to pool in his eyes. He was so tired these days. Fighting nonstop, it was starting to take a toll on his health, both physical and mental. Perhaps, if only you'd hold him close and let him cry his pain away, then maybe he'd have the courage to say this to you.

But for now...

Mikey pressed the '#' button and ended up deleting his voicemail. You didn't need to hear this. You didn't have to burden yourself with his feelings.

Closing his phone shut, he held the phone and keychain close to his heart and let his tears drip down from his eyes, "Say, am I a bad person, [Name]-chin? Everyone leaves me, it's always me..."

He wrapped his arms around his knees and let his tears fall on his pants instead, "I sick of being alone... I wanna be with you and Nii-san... I want you both to scold me when I do something wrong, or to pat my head and say 'Good job' whenever I do something right... Why won't you do that?"

Mikey always felt lonely on his birthdays...

That was because you were no longer there with him...

It had been months since you had passed away. Even so, every month Manjirō would pay for your voicemail just so he could hear your voice once more. He cursed himself for never recording you or your beautiful smile, because he knew he'd never let anything happen to you. How foolish of him...

Mikey... really did feel lonely on his birthdays.

And that was because you were never hugged him goodbye.

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Note: Angst chapter because I just love making Mikey suffer. Also, this is set in the first timeline in which [Name] hung herself, so yeah... Have fun...