PRIVATE Imagines and Roleplays

// Heartache //

-lesbianwitch- / Cellswife
I wanted to tag you since I actually just found out about a song that was recorded for the Corpse Bride, but never included, and thought you'd want to hear it. The song also gave me some inspiration concerning the Hellsing version of Jude, so I thought you'd want to see that as well.

This isn't a Corpse Bride AU, but instead just some imagines based off the song that I thought suited Jude in Hellsing.

Imagines(Lyrics in Italics):

- "This boring life that I had known, was finally turning round"

Jude as a werewolf; and one of few known supernatural beings during that time, likely lived a very lonely life.
As a man, he had to keep others at an arm's distance out of fear of hurting them. Or out of the fear of knowing that they'd likely run when finding out he wasn't human.
As a wolf, he was used to others running as soon as they saw him. Or finding ways to ward him off.
After meeting Kiku though, he'd finally feel something. She was hesitant at first at meeting him as a wolf, but she still allowed him close, allowing what they had to blossom into an odd friendship and companionship.

- "That I might have a place there after all"

After becoming Kiku's friend, though unconventional, he finally feels as if he has a place. Even if that place is only with her. Even as a wolf, he truly knows that she sees him as a friend. Something he sees as proven when she gifts him the interchangeable nicknames of Lyko and Lykos.

- "And now it's gone, like that, and I have been erased.
Another man has come to take my place"

When Jude wants to try and reveal who he truly is to Kiku; this being by attempting to take her as his Bride, he finds he's too late, learning that she's already engaged to be married.
Loving her as deeply as he does, he doesn't press the matter because he doesn't want to hurt her. He also doesn't want to see the woman he loves, hate him as himself, yet love him as a wolf. Or even worse, grow to hate him as a wolf upon learning that the man who forced her into an engagement was her dear Lyko or Lykos.
Out of love for her, he remains by her side as her closest friend and companion through her life, a life that would be shorter than Jude had anticipated.

- "Perhaps the whole thing was a dream. Perhaps it never was"

This could reference how Jude feels upon learning that Kiku has passed. He can still see her face, hear her voice, but now this is only in his dreams.
When he's awake, he'll feel as if he sees her. Or he'll swear that he hears her voice calling to him. Though he'll soon realize that it's not her. And while he cannot forget her, as years pass, he'll begin to see only a blur of the woman he loved. And only in dreams does he see her as he had those years ago, but dreams fade once he awakes, and soon enough, he's once more left with the blur that would only be fixed if he truly saw her again.
This could also reference how Jude sees Vlad. He'd watch the many changes he'd go through in the following years, and while he'd always see snippets of the man he once knew, the man that had once loved Kiku, would seem all but faded.
I could actually see Jude being nearly hurt concerning the lengths that Vlad or Alucard, would go as Dracula, to have Mina as his, since the memory of his dead wife is all but forgotten and very much disrespected by Dracula's lust.

- "Perhaps the girl that I had met, so far away above.
Simply not the one for me. Perhaps she wasn't meant to be.
I've had so many doubts and fear, perhaps where I belong is here"

Jude trying to reason with himself upon meeting Lyra as to why he should move on. He still deeply loves Kiku, and he doesn't want to disrespect her memory, but he also doesn't want his love for her to ruin his chance to be happy.
He tells himself; since she had married another man, that she simply wasn't the one, even though his heart seems to tell him otherwise.
This doesn't mean that he didn't love Lyra though. It just wasn't the same type of love. So he believes that where he belongs is with his new love, that he'd be happy with her, if only if he let the memory of the woman he had held onto for so many years, rest in piece and fade.
He did love the woman who mothered his first born son, at least until she revealed who she truly was.

- "And now she's gone, like that, and I have been erased"

This would reference Jude's heartbreak upon learning that Lyra left him after finding out that Jude wasn't a human, but instead a werewolf.
Despite him never infecting her and taking all precautions to avoid doing so, she still sees him as nothing more than a walking infection and curse.
They had a young song when she fled. She viewed their son; who to would be a werewolf, as a curse Jude placed on her. And to hurt him, she flees with their son, making Jude wonder for years what had become of his child. The little boy he loved dearly. He'd of given anything just to have his son once more with him.

- "Perhaps I really shouldn't care, there's nothing left for me up there.
Perhaps where I belong is here."

After all he's been through, it's likely Jude sees very little left to live for.
The only true love he had was dead. His only child was gone and very possibly dead.
Being cursed with immortality like Alucard, Jude finds himself left in lamentation.
He's successful despite his pain, but finds little care in this since this fulfillment doesn't mend his broken heart. Nor does it lessen his loneliness.
Perhaps when he finally closes his eyes and falls into his dreams, he sees himself like he did in the past, though as himself, spending all those days he spent as a wolf instead as his true self, with Kiku. Doing everything he wished he had done with her in the past but never had. Kissing her only in dreams.
Or he sees his son, watching his darling baby boy grow up, mirroring himself in appearance, not because Jude sees his son as a miniature him, but because it's all he can see because he doesn't know what his son would of actually looked like. He spends his days in those dreams raising his son until he's awaken to another day.
Or perhaps even, he sees both Kiku and Slade, seeing all three of them together, laughing, smiling, all happily together. One happy family.
On rare occasions, he may wake up to tears streaming down his face, something he can hardly believe, having long believed himself to have no more tears to shed after so many years.
He wonders if where he belongs is in death, but knows that he'll never achieve as much.

- Bonus

Imagine just how happy Jude is when he meets Kiku reincarnated, and how despite it being centuries that have passed, it's like they never parted. How he'll gently tuck her hair behind her ear, gently grab her hand, and she'll smile and blush. How happy he is that he can finally face her as who he truly is, and she still cares.
Or how he'll eventually meet his grown son, no longer having to see his son as mirror of himself, but actually get to see his son as he truly is. Even taking a picture of Slade and always keeping it with him to remind himself that Slade is okay, that his son grew up to be himself, to be everything Jude wanted him to be.
Or even how happy he is to see that Alucard has once again become someone with some humanity despite how much he'll deny as much. To see how Alucard himself has grown. Though he may still hold some irritants towards the man for how he acted with Mina, but understand it far better than he had when it first happened, and actually still care for Alucard.

~

Please feel free to leave your thoughts about this chapter here! Since Jude is your OC, I'd love to hear your view on these!
Apologies if this chapter ended up being really sad or provoked any emotional responses, I just wanted to do a more in depth chapter for an OC I thought deserved some attention. 🖤