Chenford - more depth

Chapter 3

Lucy's pov
I make it home, I stumble as I walk in. Id not realised how much I'd actually drank. I grab my phone out of my bag before throwing it on the floor along with my shoes. I stumble into the bedroom, I throw my dress off before getting into a pair of shorts and a tank top. I turn my phone on and message Angela.
- hey Angela just wanted to let you know I'm home- I press send, I put my phone on my bedside table. Climbing into bed I sit there and think about the night before slowly drifting off to sleep.

Angela's pov
Id just put jack back down in his cot as he'd just woken up for a feed. I feel my phone vibrate so I look.
- 1 new notification-
I click on it
Lucy Chen : hey Angela just wanted to let you know I'm home.
Angela : good I'm glad you're home. Hope you had a good night, hope your head doesn't hurt too much tomorrow morning hahah
I go back into bed relieved she's home
I pull up Tims contact number
Angela : hey tim nothing to worry about, Lucy is home she's just messaged. I told you she'd be fine. Keep your head up. She needs you to be you.
I put my phone down and go back to sleep.

Tim's pov
I wake up suddenly after hearing my phone make a noise
- 1 new notification-
I click on it in a panic, thinking the worst. Is it Lucy needing help. Is she in danger. Has Angela figured out why she's not okay.
Angela : hey tim nothing to worry about, Lucy is home she's just messaged. I told you she'd be fine. Keep your head to. She needs you to be you.
I sigh a huge sigh of relief. 'Thank fuck'
Tim : thank you Angela! I am relieved to know that she's okay. And I will do Angela, id do anything for her.
I put my phone back on the bedside table before rolling back over and going to sleep.

The next morning
Lucy's pov
I rub my face as I open my eyes. My stomachs turning, heads pounding, I look at the time and realise Tim will be here soon. Maybe I can get out of seeing him, he knows I went out so maybe he won't come because he will know I'll be hungover. Before I could have another thought I jump up running into the bathroom, I sit in front of the toilet throwing up. Maybe going out wasn't such a good idea. Ten minutes go by and I finally stop throwing up. I sit back. I eventually stand up cleanse my face and brush my teeth. I lean and grab my hair brush and brush my long hair before tying it in a low loose ponytail. I walk into the kitchen grab as a glass of water and an Advil. I take them.  I walk into the bedroom and get laid back in bed. I lay there thinking and thinking. Till I hear my phone vibrate. I look.
- 2 new notifications-
I press on them.
Chris : hey gorgeous girl, hope you got home safe and your head isn't too bad. I really enjoyed spending time with you. I'll see you at yours later for that coffee yeah?
Shit I forgot I arranged for him to come over, I'm sure it'll be fine. We had a good time last night. Maybe this is what I need, to move on and maybe it was destined for us to meet especially when I wasn't planning on going out.
Tim : Hey Chen, hope you had a good night, I'll swing round a bit later than usual as I bet your head is pounding. See you in an hour.
Okay.. that gives me time to come round but I need to make sure he's gone before Chris comes. I can't be bothered with the lecture.
I go to reply to Chris.
Lucy: hey handsome, it was a good night last night with you. And of course that's fine, I apologise again that I had to leave early. Come around 2?
That should be perfect as Tim will have definitely gone by then. I was hoping Tim wouldn't come today. I thought he'd leave me for one day knowing I went out last night so I'll be feeling rough. I nod off to sleep for around half an hour.

Tim's pov
I woke up this morning and the first thing I do is think of Lucy. God I need to stop this. She used to be my rookie, she's been through some trauma, she doesn't need this and besides she's not going to want me.  I put her in that situation and I doubt I'm her type. I message her to let her know I'll be over in an hour. I get up and go into the bathroom, cleanse my face, brush my teeth and my hair. I then make breakfast. I feed Kojo and he eats while I go get dressed. I leave the bedroom and put Kojos lead on him and set off outside for his morning walk. Around 20 minutes later I come home and take kojos lead off, then grabbing my car keys. I leave the house and get in my van and head off to Lucy's. After around 15 minutes I arrive. I walk up to her door. - knocking.-
"Hey Lu..Chen.. it's only Tim. Just come to check in on you and that head of yours" I giggle.

Lucy's pov
I jump up from my sleep when I hear the door knock. Shit shit I didn't know I'd fallen back asleep. I get up and walk towards my bedroom door, opening the door and walking towards my front door. I go to open it before realising I'm in a tank top and shorts. ' am i really so stupid. He's gonna see my arm' i quickly run round looking for a jumper to throw on. I find one and quickly through it on. I go to the front door and open it.
"Hey" I say awkwardly.

Tim's pov
I hear her running around inside but she's probably just woken up right.. the door opens. She stands there, with her dark brown hair tied up in a loose low pony, her cheeks look more defined, her lips looking as soft as ever almost as if she's just put lip balm on, she's in a dark grey oversized jumper with black loose but almost tight shorts. The ones that squeeze her bum, I notice she's wearing the ring I gave back to her. The one I used to find her. I can't help but stare at her. My mind goes to how much I just want to walk in and pick her up and press my lips against her soft delicate lips and keep her safe.
"Hey" she says
"Hey how's your head? Did you have a good night? There's no guys here that I need to arrest?" I joke but hoping she says no. Why am I jealous. Why do
I care if she's seeing someone. She's not ready for that, surely she knows that deep down.
"It's not that bad actually thank you very much, and no there's no one here right now.." she's says. Technically she's not lying.
" I'm glad it's not too bad Chen. You expecting someone later then I'm guessing? Do you know them well enough? Do I need to a background check on them before they come over?" I don't realise I'm rambling all this stuff but I can't help it. I just want to protect her. I just want her...
"Bradford, calm down it's fine. I can look after myself. I don't need you or any of you lot wrapping me up in bubble wrap. I went out last night didn't I? I was fine wasnt i?" She snaps at him. She closes the door in my face before I can say another.
- I knock loud-
"Come on Lucy you know that's not what I meant! I know you can handle yourself, I know how strong you are. Just let me in, no I don't mean into your apartment. I mean let me in your head, talk to me Luce. You're a shell of yourself. Something's going on. Talk to me.." I shout to her.
I get no response.
"Lucy..I care about you okay..I'm here if you change your mind". I turn and head off to work. I get to work and inform Angela of the whole conversation that happened with Lucy this morning. She admits it's raising alarm bells but we can't do anything if she won't let us.

Lucys pov.
After I said what I said to him I knew I was gonna break down crying, I could feel my eyes filling up, my cheeks burning. I didn't mean to shout at him.. I don't know what came over me.. I hear everything he's saying to me as I slide down the door and put my head in hands crouched over. He cares about me? What does he mean by that? Let him in my head? What so he can save me, protect me, fix me, make me a burden yet again, no thank you.
I eventually get up, and go into the bathroom to take a shower. I take off my jumper being careful to not catch my arm, I slide my shorts off and get into the shower. I stand there, with tears dripping down my face. I wash my hair, and as I do I see my hair falling out. Great another thing I can't do right. My body and my minds failing me maybe I should just give up. The thoughts creep in again 'you should have died that day, you have no reason to have trauma you survived get a grip, stop being a burden to everyone". I grab a razor, the urge is too overwhelming to get out of the shower and getting my blade from the bedroom. I take it and use against my hip. The blood drips down from hip, down my thigh, down my calf and eventually on the floor. I slide down on to the base of the shower. I throw the blade out of the shower, feeling embarrassed and pissed off at myself. I eventually get out and get dried before putting some comfy yet clothes that showed I made an effort as I remember that Chris is coming over soon. Black tight jeans with the slightest rips in them just on my thighs, a white tank top with a red cropped jacket.  I walk into the bedroom, I decide to do a natural makeup look, I brush my hair. Just then I hear a loud persistent knock at the door. I look at the time. It's 1:45. Surely that's not Chris yet? Right?