Chenford - more depth

Chapter 106

Lucy's pov
I drive in complete auto pilot all the way there, I pull into the carpark. I park up and turn the engine off.
I lay my head back into the headrest and I close my eyes for a brief second.
My wrist is in agony, if Tim knew he would be so disappointed in me.
I want to be enough, I don't want to keep failing him, I want him to be genuinely proud of me, genuinely happy.
This is going to be hard but I know I have to do this.
I get out of the car, locking it. I stand feeling the cool air on my face as I walk towards the entrance of the building.
Breathe Lucy.

I walk through the doors, and head straight forward, down the corridor and up the stairs avoiding eye contact with anyone that sees me. I can't get distracted.
I get to the door and I knock.
The door swings open.
I can do this.
I have to.

Tim's pov
I crouch down and open the washing machine door. There has to be a reason why Kojo was so fixated on it.
I pull out the clothes that are inside, and my heart drops. The shirt's sleeve is covered in blood, Lucy's shirt.
Lucy's shirt sleeve covered in blood.
Fuck.
I hold it in my hand and I just fall onto the floor, just staring at it. My heart sinks into the pit of my stomach. My hand is shaking, I feel Kojo rubbing his head against me.
"I'm sorry buddy" I say softly. "I'll find mummy don't worry, she will be okay, she's a tough cookie" I feel my eyes watering.

It makes sense, that's what she meant by I was hurting her. I was holding where she had done it.
Why couldn't she have told me? Why didn't she tell me she wanted to? I thought she would have come to me about it.
How did I not see it?

All I keep doing is staring at it, this shirt she was wearing earlier covered in blood. The shirt was soaking, almost as if she tried to wash it off. The bathroom.. that's why it was so warm.
How did she..why..I can't...
Where is she? Where did she need to go so desperately? Why didn't she answer the phone when I messaged her?
I look in the washing machine for her jeans that she was wearing, she was definitely wearing leggings when she left
I scrunch up the shirt in my hand as I stand up, I place it on the side.

I grab my phone off the side, immediately dialing Lucy's number as I run around the bedroom looking for her jeans.
I hear the dial tone ringing as I put it on loud speaker. My eyes are scowling around the room for the jeans.
"We're sorry 'lucy' is unavailable to take your call. Please leave a message after the beep"
Shit.
"Luce babe it's me, can you please call me when you get this. I need to know that you're okay"
I end the call.
Come on Lucy.

There! Her jeans are gently folded by her side of the bed on the floor, I pick them up and they're clean. No blood. I sigh in relief, knowing she hasn't hurt herself anywhere else. I know last time it was her hips, they were so deep. I just hope this time it's different. I need her safe. She has to be safe, she wouldn't...

I feel something in the pocket, and I gently place my hand inside pulling out this tissue. Gently folded into a small square, folded multiple times. I place it on the bedside table. My hands are shaking, unsure what I'm going to find.
Slowly I unfold the tissue, laying it across the side. I look down and I feel my heart drop. I feel sick.