Chenford - more depth

Chapter 124

Tim's pov
I suddenly feel her whole body go limp in my arms, she becomes weightless almost.
"Lucy!" I scream. I pull her head from my chest and I notice her eyes are firmly closed.  "LUCY! NO! YOU DONT GET TO DO THIS! YOU DONT GET TO LEAVE ME. BABY OPEN YOUR EYES...please..I need you" I scream, shaking her head almost roughly trying to get her to open her eyes. I grab a hold of her wrist.
Nothing.
No pulse.
Nothing.

"Sir let me take her now!" A doctor says running up towards me.
I shake my head no.
"Please sir we need to take her now!" She says firmly.
"Tim let go" Grey says as his voice breaks.
"I can't.."
"Lucy please..come back to me I need you."  I say as I look down at her lifeless body in my arms, we're both covered in her blood.
"Sir don't make us take her from you. We need to take her" she says firmly.
"Tim I know.. look at me" Angela says and I glance at her. "Let them take her, they can help her. She is a fighter, she doesn't quit you know this. Let them do their job okay? I'm here Tim" she says and I know deep down she is right.
I look down at Lucy taking in every last little detail of her as I hand her over to the doctor. "look after her please" I say as feel her body leave my finger tips.
"We will" one of the doctors say as they run off down the corridor carrying her.

My legs give way and I just drop to the floor, looking down at my hands covered in her blood. My fingers shaking, it's like they've just ripped a part of me off. I can't do this. I can't do life without her.
I feel this arms cradling me and I look on up to see Angela cuddling me, her arms firmly wrapped around me. Her eyes bloodshot from holding her tears back. "Hey...Tim she's in the best place. She will be okay." She says as she takes a deep breath in. "She has to be..she has to be"
She cradles me for a couple of minutes, no one says anything. I can hear Grey sniffling and Angela crying, my heart breaking into a million pieces.

I slowly stand up, Angela following behind as we sit down in the waiting room.
"She has to come through this Tim. She will come through this." Grey finally says.
"She's a fighter is our Lucy. You know that Tim" Angela says.
"I can't...I can't do this without her..." I say as I feel the tears roll down my face, my leg shaking beneath me. Tapping against the hospital floor. Grey places his hand on my leg. He looks straight at me.
"She will get through this. She's like a daughter to me Tim, she means so much to everyone. She won't quit. She doesnt know what that word means" Grey chuckles slightly towards the last part.
"He's right Tim. She's like my sister, I can't imagine life without her. But we can't think like that. She will make it through this. They will get her back" Angela says as she palces her hand on my other leg.
My head just rolls forward into my hands in the middle of my legs.

"What the fuck happened? I thought this was a low risk call?" I randomly blurt out.
"Tim it was...but we didn't know that the man there was wanted for some serious crimes. We haven't looked at the body cam footage but we will." Angela says.
"He won't get away with this" Grey replies back. 
"You bet your arse he isn't getting away with this. Him, Chris, her parents none of them are getting away with anything anymore" I say frustratedly. "Give me his name"
"Tim no. You're not going to go after him. Hes in prison. He will be charged"
"I'm going to go speak to him. Give me his name"
"Sergeant Bradford!" Grey says firmly.
"Respectfully sir I'm going to go speak to him right now."
"You won't just have words Tim. You need to calm down. Don't do something you will regret." Angela says as she grabs a hold of my hand.
"He needs to know what he's done"
"And he will but you going there and being as angry as you are right now will not help. What about when Lucy comes round and we have to tell her your in prison?"
Angela replies back.
"Fuck. I know. I just can't sit here. Waiting around. They should know something by now."
"We will know something soon, no news is good news" Grey says trying to reassure me that she's okay.

"I'm going to go to the toilet. I won't be long" I say as I get u. I feel Grey pull my hand back.
"Tim?"
"I won't go see him. I'm going to go to the toilet and then I'm going to sit in the car. I can't do this Grey."
"Tim you aren't in this alone. We are here. Why doesn't one of us come sit in the car with you and one stays here for the news?" Angela says.
"I think that's a good idea Tim, you shouldn't be alone" Grey replies. "Ange you go sit in his car ready."
She nods and I pass her my car keys, and she walks off out of the hospital.
Grey stands up and pulls me in for a hug, patting me on the back.
"It's okay son, it will be okay" he says reassuringly.
"I really hope so, this is different this time"
"I know it is" he says as I pull away and walk off into the bathrooms.

I walk in and notice that no one else is in here.
I just stare at myself in the mirror, looking down at how my clothes, my arms, my hands are covered in her blood. My arms and my hands are shaking.
I can't lose her. I can't do this without her. I need her. I need my Luce back.
I just keep picturing her laying lifelessly in my arms. 
My fingers scrunch up into a fist as I punch the wall.
Again.
And again.
"FUCK!!"