Chenford - more depth

Chapter 130

Tim's pov
Room 93.

I can do this. She will be okay. This whole 93 thing..it doesn't matter.

The doctor opens the door letting me in, I step in. The door closes behind me gently slamming together, I notice that the doctor hasn't come in. It's just me, and this big bright room, my thoughts and Lucy. The rooms smelling of bleach, the lights are bright, the room feels eerie. There's a door to the left that I'm guessing leads to the bathroom. A black sofa bed to the back wall,  a dark blue chair next to the bed. A beige cabinet on the other side. The multiple machines lined up, with wires leading towards the bed. The machines beeping, at a slow and steady pace. She's stable. Obviously in the middle of the chair and cabinet is the bed Lucy's in. Part of me wants to go straight to her but part of me is scared to see her like this.

I look forward and there she is.

Her long dark brown wavy hair tucked gently behind her ears, laying almost elegantly across the pillow. Her eyes firmly closed, her pale lips ever so slightly open for the wire going into her mouth, the wires going into his nose. Her face having ever so slightly more colour than she did last time I saw her, but her rosy cheeks weren't there. The duvet laid just above her boobs, her arms gently placed at either side of her, on top of the duvet. Canula and wires attached to her arms and her hand. I watch carefully for a few seconds watching her chest move up and down.

I walk towards her, slowly sitting down on the chair next to her. I carefully take a hold of her hand, holding her pinky with mine. She still looked so beautiful.
My mouth feels dry, but I need her to know that I'm here.

"Luce babe, I don't know if you can hear me but I'm here." I say softly as I stroke her hair gently with one hand while remaining hold of her pinky. "I'm so proud of you babe, for fighting this. I need you to keep fighting for me. I know it's hard but I know you can do it. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere ever again."

Her body just lays perfectly still, why did it part me of hope she'd move a finger or tell me that she's okay? Why did I think I would hear her voice? I want to hear her voice.

"I love you Luce, we will get through this. You're the only person that knows me too well, I can't do this without you and I know it's selfish babe but it's true. I want the life we planned together, to grow old together. To get married. I know we said about you wanting to have two mini us running around, but they had to be chen sized because in your words you didn't want a Bradford size inside of you..and I know we haven't got pregnant yet, I'm sorry for failing you on that babe. We will figure it out. We will have that life babe I promise you. I just need you to come through this. Please"

Again she just lays perfectly still, not a single movement or sound from her.

I move my hand from her hair, I gently start stroking her hand, I lay my head down on her arm. "I don't know why you had to rush out earlier, or why you had to go see Chris or why you felt the need to go to work, or why you would ask to go undercover with Lemar when you think you aren't safe. None of this makes any sense babe and I wish I knew. I know that there has to be a reason for it. I just wish you had told me. I'm here Luce, I'm not going to go anywhere. Angela and Grey are going to bring us some things, they've been so worried about you baby. We all are. You can't leave me babe."
I take a deep breath in.

A machine starts beeping, loud, echoing through the room and through my body.
"CODE BLUE ROOM 93 CODE BLUE ROOM 93"
The doors fling open and so many doctors and nurses come running in. "Sir we need you to step back" one of the doctors says firmly. I glance up and notice her chest isnt moving up and down, the machine for her heart rate is blarring, the singular line beeping through the machine. Her heart has stopped. It's like flood of doctors come rushing in, everyone's frantically moving around. I feel sick.

"Clear!" One of the doctors shouts as he places the electric panels on her chest. Her chest lifts up and back down. Her head gently lifted the pillow for a brief second.
I feel my body shaking, I can't lose her. Please. "Charge!" He says as he lifts them off.
"Clear!" He shouts as he places the electric panels back onto her chest. Her chest lifts up and back down. He looks at the machine. He places the panels back onto the machine.
"Warm liquids now!" He demands and one for the nurses injects Lucy in the arm, while another exchanges Lucy's iv bag.
Another doctor placing his hands on Lucy's chest as he starts perfoming CPR.
"Don't stop.." I mutter softly.
"Sir I'm sorry but we are going to have to ask you to leave" one of the nurses says as she places her hand on mine.
"No" I mutter softly.
The doctor goes back to the panels placing them on her chest, shocking her time after time.
"Clear!" "Charge!" "Clear!" "Charge!" "Clear!"
The room goes completely silent, everyone slows down.

"No" I say more firmly.
No.
She can't.
"19:30 time of death" the doctor says.
"Sir I'm so sorry for your loss, we will give you some time with her" the doctor says as he steps out of the room. I hear the door open.