Chenford - more depth

Chapter 125

Angela's pov
I'm sat in the passengers seat of Tim's car, knowing this is where Lucy usually sits and it's killing me.
We've nearly lost her before but this....this was different. She was scared to die, her body has never reacted like this before.
I don't know how to explain it but it was different and it's scary.
One of her hair ties around the gear stick, a hair clip attached to the sunvisor.  It feels wrong sitting here.
I feel the tears rolling down my face, I can't even begin to imagine how Tim's feeling. I mean even Grey was scared. I've never known him be so quiet.
I can't leave this car, I have to make sure Tim doesn't go do anything stupid that's going to cause more hurt for them both.
I mean no one knows fully what happened in there, till we watch the footage but I saw how her clothes were. Tim's going to flip when he finds out.

Tim's pov
A man walks into the bathroom and looks at me. "Hey man are you okay?" He says concerned.
"Honestly no mate but we have to stay strong hey" I say as gesture a nod of my head towards him.
"What's going on?" He asks as he leans back against the wall.
"My girlfriend...she erm...she had to be brought in, I was on the phone to her the whole way here. She was..barley alive and she wanted to wait till I got here ..she told me she was scared of dying..and didn't want to die without seeing me...fuck...shit mate I shouldn't..."
"Hey no you're okay, I can't even imagine how you're feeling. What's her name?"
"Lucy" I say as I smile softly thinking about her. Picturing her face in my mind.
"She will survive this, I'll pray for her"
"Thank you I appreciate it, id shake your hand but..."
"No you're all good" he says as he smiles at me.
"Are you okay?" I say as I walk towards the door.
"Yeah my wife's just had our baby, our first baby" he says with the biggest smile on his face.
"Congratulations mate, I'm happy for you. Look after them both, dont let them go"
"Thank you mate and I won't. Don't lose hope, she will be okay"
I nod my head and I walk out of the bathrooms and down the corridor.

Why can't we have our happy ending? Why can't we have our little family? I just want Lucy to be happy, us to be happy and to grow our family. I keep failing her. Time and time again. I can't lose her. Not now. Not ever.

I notice Grey sat in the waiting room, just staring straight ahead. I walk over to him.
"Anything?" I ask him nervously.
"Nothing yet son. You'll be the first to know I promise"
"I love her."
"I know you do, and I know she loves you so she won't give up okay?"
"I know"
"Go to Angela, make sure she's coping. I know she thinks a lot of Lucy especially with her putting Lucy as someone to have Jacks if anything happens to her and Wesley"
"I will do sir, look after yourself too" I say as I pat him on the shoulder as I walk past him and out of the hospital.

I notice Angela sat in the passenger seat, that's my Lucy's seat.
I walk over and I open the door, I look straight at her. "Get out Angela." I say firmly looking at her.
"Tim, no. I'm not going to let you go do anything that you will regret."
"Get out Angela. I'm not going anywhere but you need to get out...of her...of Lucy's seat..please..Ange" I say I feel my heart breaking into pieces.
"I'm sorry Tim I didn't think...look I'm sorry I am." She says as she steps out of the car.
"I'm sorry Ange..I didn't mean to upset you it's just..."
"I know I get it. It's fine Tim. Look where do you want me to sit?" She asks as she smiles softly at me.
I don't know why seeing her say that affected me so much. It was like someone was stabbing me in the chest seeing her sat there.
"Ange it's fine you can sit there" I say as I walk around to get in the driver's seat.

I close the door as I sit down, my head immediately rolling back towards the headrest, Angela hesitantly sits back down shutting the door. She places her hand gently on my thigh.
"Tim?" She says softly.
"Yeah Ange?"
"I'm scared, I can't lose her"
"I know so am I Ange. So am I." I say I gently place my hand on top of hers. "She will be okay" I say as I close my eyes.
We both go silent, just hoping for some news. The silence is peaceful at first till all the thoughts start echoing through my brain.

What if she doesn't survive?
What if they couldn't get her back?
What if I have to live my life without her?
What if the last conversation we had was back at the house..
What if she doesn't realise how much I love her?
I can't. 

"Tim you're spiralling. Look do you want to talk about it? Or shall we put music on because I know I'm struggling sitting in silence. This waiting is agonising." Angela finally says breaking the silence.
"Yeah no you can put the radio on, I just..I just hope she knows I love her. I mean after she left the house we was I don't know...what if that was the last conversation we had?"
She leans forward putting the radio on quietly as she turns to look at me.
"Tim that woman knows you love her trust me, and she loves you. She held on and wouldn't let us take her in because she wanted you. You're always her first thought. She will tell you that soon" she says smiling at me.
"I hope so" I say softly as I look up towards the night sky.

A song started playing and my heart sank to the pit of my stomach.

The song was: Get Well Soon by Ariana Grande, the lyrics started from 'Well here's one thing you can trust, yuh, It takes you and me to make us, One of those days you had enough, I'll be there, yuh yuh yuh
If it ain't one thing, it's another, When you need someone to pull you out the bubble, I'll be right there just to hug you, I'll be there, Where are you? Are you home? Call me right on the phone
I'll be there, yeah, I'll be there, I don't care who is gone, you shouldn't be alone, I'll be there, there'

The tears immediately start falling down my face. "Tim?" "Tim?" She says more worriedly noticing how I'm tightly gripping onto the steering wheel, my knuckles going white. 
"Sorry...it's just this song..it was the one I asked the DJ to play at Nolan's engagement party..the one for Lucy...the one we danced to..I..."
"Hey do you want me to turn it off?"
"No. No don't."
"You know that's Lucy giving you a sign she's fighting. She doesn't want to leave you and this bubble" she says as she smiles at me softly.
She's right..I know she is.

My phone starts ringing and I look down to see Greys name flashing up on my phone.
Fuck.