Chenford - more depth

Chapter 38

Lucy's pov
It's been like 20 minutes and I decide I can't just go to bed angry with him. I climb out of bed, i open the spare bedroom door and look straight ahead.. I see Tim coming out of the bedroom as I step out. I freeze for a second because I don't know what to do. I didn't think he'd be stood there. We just look at each other till suddenly he's walking towards me and I'm walking towards him. 

Tim's pov
I decide to go speak to her, I can't go to bed angry and it doesn't feel right sleeping in this bed without her. I get out of bed, opening the bedroom door and I see her stood there. I just stare at her for a second because I didn't expect her to be there. I mean we're both as stubborn as each other. I start walking towards her and she starts walking towards me. I just put my arms around her, just underneath her arse and pick her up, i kiss her. Placing one arm underneath to support her and one around her back. She wraps her legs around me. "I'm sorry baby" she says "I'm sorry too" I say as pull her in close. "Shall we go talk this through?" I say looking down at her. She nods and I carry her in to the bedroom. If this was any other situation I'd be having this conversation then makeup sex with her.
I place her in the bed and I sit next to her.

Lucy's pov
"Tim.." I say but he interrupts me.
"Lucy let me first.. please.." he says as turns to look at me.
" look you had a bad morning and with what today was, i was worried about you. Seeing you wanting to go out like that one reminded me of that night you went and met Chris because you felt like you had to prove yourself. And two because when my mum died luce.. my dad said it was just one night. That one night turned into I don't know how many. That's when the anger he had towards my mum turned to my sister." He says
"Tim.. me seeing Chris that night wasn't anyones fault. Admittedly I went out that night I met Chris because I wanted you to think I was okay.  And I can't imagine what you went through with your dad, but just know I'm not him Tim. Just like when I've mentioned doing undercover before, I'm not Isabel And while I understand you was worried about me, I'm not someone you need to over analyse. It makes me feel like I can't breathe in case I look at something a different way and you think the worst..." I say as I look at him.
"I know you're not, you're different Lucy and I think that's why I'm scared.. because I can't loose you Lucy like I nearly lost you" he says as his voice breaks
"I'm not going anywhere, I'm right here" i say as I kiss him on the cheek.
"Did you really feel ready Lucy or was that the drink talking? Because if you are ready and everything I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything. The near relapse this morning, anything at all. I can't have sex with you Lucy if you don't communicate with me. I know it'd be your first time and I want that to be memorable. It's a big deal and you have triggers which is understandable so I don't want to ruin it for you by triggering you. But I cant do that if I don't know your triggers?" He says.
"I am ready Tim, I just don't know. I guess the alcohol gave me that confidence. I appreciate you saying no and understanding how hard it is for me. I will try working on my communication with you because I don't want to loose you Tim. I want it to be special." I say looking at him.
"I just knew how important it was for you, and I didn't want to take advantage of that. I want it to be memorable too because one you're losing your virginity to me. And two because I've never taken someone's virginity before so I want you to be sure. And Lucy you aren't loosing me ever" he says as he kisses me. I kiss him back.
"We can figure it out, also I was meaning to tell you.." I say looking down.
"What is it?" He says looking directly at me.
"So in two weeks we go back to work.. I'm ready i promise." I say smiling.
"Are you sure you're ready for this? No one will think any less of you if you don't go back yet. The court date is in 3 weeks Luce"
"Yeah I'm sure and Grey has given us both the day off for the court date and the day after." I say.
"As long as you're sure baby, and I'll be there with you. I love you now let's get some sleep" he says as he lays down.
I lay down and roll into him.
"I love you too".