I started a new book called 'Broken Blue Balloons' check it out if you want!
Chapter 11
"I don't know" I said while shaking. Everything felt cold and I let out my breath in short breaths, being scared of breathing. I never had someone to talk to for a long time now, so it was quite hard.
"What is his name?" he asked me after a few minutes. I shook my head. I shook my head the whole time. I wanted to forget it. I wanted to forget it.
"No" I said, over and over again. My whole body felt numb and I couldn't think of something else. Everything he said, everything he did came up to me.
"From now on you will not talk, you got it? Because if you do that, you can forget living!" he said while slapping my hands away that were trying to block him to come near me.
"Stop it! Let me go! I will do whatever you want. Do you want money? I – I can give you as much as you want. My parents have.. they have money! Please-" he didn't even let me finish. He grabbed me and threw me in the corner of the disgusting smelling basement. I used to always be afraid of basements. That was even a reason for why we didn't have a basement back home. Home..
"I miss you.." I heard myself whisper before I drifted away, losing the battle with myself. From now on, this was how it was going to be for the rest of my life.. til the end..
"Allaahumma innee 'abduka wa ibn 'abdika wa ibn amatika, naasiyati bi yadika, maadin fiyya hukmuka, 'adlun fiyya qadaa'uka, as'aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi..." I heard from besides me. The smoothness of the voice was waking me up slowly from my nightmare. I felt my body relax second by second. I finally opened my eyes and saw him in front of me. My mouth opened slightly. That.. beautifulness came from his voice. I felt goosebumps all over my body.
"..nafsaka aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw 'allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw ista'tharta bihi fi 'ilm il-ghaybi 'andak an taj'ala al-Qur'aana rabee' qalbi wa noor sadri wa jalaa'a huzni wa dhahaaba hammi" he said and opened his eyes after that. We just stared at each other, enchanted by the moment. Neither of us looked away, taking in every second of what just happened.
"What.. what was that?" I asked him with a soft, quiet voice. He looked at me and smiled.
"Its called dua. We do that everytime we want something from Allah or just to talk with Allah" he said but I didn't have a clue from what he said. He smiled again while shaking his head.
"Never mind. You won't understand" he said. I looked down feeling a bit weird before I looked up again.
"Can you teach me? I want to talk too" I said and saw his eyes widen. He nodded while coming a few inches closer.
"I will, but not now. It would be too much for now" he said and I nodded, not really understanding what he meant. I looked at his eyes. They were so.. welcoming.
"You know.. Since that you're here" I said, while pulling my legs up to my chest. I heard my voice shake but he didn't say anything. Nor did he say anything when I took a lot of time to reply.
"I- I just feel.. different. I hear voices.. I see things- people. I don't know whats happening, but it" I said while letting out a breath. I took a stray of my hair and rolled it around my fingers. It felt like there was no space anymore for another breath in my chest. I could only take in short breaths that were really hard to take in. It was like my body didn't like breathing. Like it didn't like oxygen.
"I know words I'd never known before.. I feel like.. They just come to surface without a warning. Without telling me what it means- but I still know what they mean. Weird isn't it?" I asked him while my head shot up at him. He just looked at me.
"Its nice.. I am not- I am not.. scared when you're here" I said, feeling foreign with pronouncing the word scared. Here you had it again; the words I didn't know what it was. I felt a tear fall down my face and I wiped it away after it fell immediately.
"Hey" he said while coming closer. I used to crawl away when he did that, but with Iyaz it's different. I couldn't crawl away even though my brain told me to run as fast as I could.
"Its normal. And don't be scared of these words. They were there before, but they were just hiding. Slowly by slowly you will remember them, don't worry" he said and I, again, didn't understand what he said. He came closer and sat next to me against the wall.
"You look tired. We will talk some other time. Rest a bit, you need it" he said and I nodded, closing my eyes when he was talking. I put my head on his shoulder like it was quite normal. He didn't move and nor did I. I guarantee you, this was the first time I felt home, again..
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Gimme your opinion about it! Great ideas planned, just need to find a way to put them in the story. And also, please, can you take a minute to pray for the Palestinian, Turkish, Syrian- all the muslims brothers and sisters and people who have it difficult to ease their problems and to help them win everything. We all will be free one day.
http://www.a2youth.com/articles/coping_with_adversity/supplications_for_depression/ the link of the dua:)
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I'm Miracle (Islamic Story)
Spiritual{Completed} My name is Miracle. I got that name when I was fourteen. I can't remember my family. I can't remember my friends. I can't remember anything from the past. Do I even have a past? Where was I born? Who are my parents? What did I like? Did...
