Chapter 68
I walked out of the living room and made my way upstairs. My legs were shaking but I kept a straight face. Control it. Don't loose control. I repeated it over and over again in my head. My vision was fighting black and white, black was trying to pull me towards the hole again but the white was trying to let me stay sane. I opened the door to my and Tuana's room and leaned against the desk. I felt sweat dripping from my forehead, knowing how much energy was being drained out of me. I started taking deep breaths, remembering Robin's words. Control it. Don't let them win. I have control, I whispered softly into thick air. I then turned around and went downstairs. Before they could even see me, I grabbed my jacket and shoes and went from the back entrance to the backyard. I gave a look at the bodyguard who was standing there before I walked out of there. I knew he was following me, but I couldn't care less. I put on my jacket, refusing to let the tears fall. It was as if my mind was now fighting the tears instead of the memories. I walked and walked, passing by buildings, cars- people. All of them were after different things, yet I felt like I was just roaming around life with no purpose. Iyaz had his family, his home, his school, friends- but then there was me. I didn't even know my name. I felt like the wild animal they wanted me to be. How Richard wanted me to even forget myself, as if I remembered anything. How they wanted to take control over me- but I had already lost myself before finding it. I looked around, realizing that I was at the entrance of the woods where there was this lake. I sat down near it, letting in the smell of the forest. Autumn was approaching, something that had sounded so familiar from the beginning. I looked into the woods. I could see the dark green trees in front of me, but when I looked further I saw black. It was funny, really. You would think that just because its black, there is absolutely nothing there, yet there was a whole different world. A world that had been my reality.
"You scared me" I heard his soft voice from behind. I closed my eyes, silently being thankful that he was there. Even though I came here myself, the thought of the dark world of the forest was just scaring me.
Iyaz sat down next to me, not trying to make eye-contact. "I'm sorry"
My head turned towards him, not understanding why he was sorry. He just looked ahead into the darkness that I was just looking at.
"I don't understand how you are sitting here, not going insane. They found you here. You came out of that darkness, running away from it. How can you return here?" he said. I looked into the darkness. It was as if it was calling for me. Even though I hated there, I felt like that was where I belonged. I felt like that was supposed to be my reality, not this colorful foreign world that I didn't fit in.
"Maybe it's my universe" I whispered, standing up. Iyaz stood up too, realizing what I meant.
"Don't be stupid" he said threatening. I smirked, being way too familiar with that saying.
"Stupid.. Isn't that something that I had been all the time? He had told me. It was stupid of me to run away. He was right. I am stupid" I said, smiling at my stupidness. I should've listened to him. Now I was going to get punished.
"You know that that's not true" he said, taking a step towards me. I took a few steps forward, towards the darkness.
"What do I know? I know nothing- absolutely nothing" I replied to him.
"Whatever he told you, delete it. You don't belong there" he said the exact thing I wanted to avoid. I didn't look at him. It was as if I couldn't take my eyes off of the darkness.
"But that's the thing, sweet caring Iyaz, I do belong there" I said without any emotion. It was as if it wasn't even hurting me like it normally would.
"Let's go home" he said softly, yet I didn't miss his threatening voice.
"You are just threatening just like him. Tell me Iyaz, your home or mine?" I asked him, looking at him for the first time.
"I don't belong in your colorful world. Darkness is my ruler, reality and destiny. Leave" I told him. I had made a mistake by looking him in the eyes for the first time. Worry was written all over it. He was sweating like I had done.
"You belong with me" he said, taking out his hand for me to take. I looked at it for a long time, knowing that that was the sweetness, the light of the darkness that was blinding me. I couldn't do that- not anymore. It wasn't familiar.
"I am a burden" I said, taking a step back. He took a step forward, still with his hand up in the air.
"Don't" he said, this time with a firmer voice. I took a few steps back, looking in his eyes, trying to memorize every inch of his messy. He took a step forward angrily.
"Dammit Beau, don't!" he said and before I could reply, the darkness that I was about to meet came right to me.
"Well well well, look who has returned to her roots. It's been long, Miracle"
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH (can you also sense a difference in her 'mind' like the choice of words she makes etc?)
I had been planning this scene for so long now I couldn't wait to write it.
Guyssss, I had my internship today but my teacher called in sick and I was sooooooooo not feeling like going, like, I was already thinking of million things to use as an excuse, but luckily I am free and promised myself to spend my day in bed writing all day so currently I am in my winter pajamas with all sorts of fall candles around me and sipping on some chai tea latte with a nakd bar. I am extra.
Plus, we are having a cousin movie night today and I need to make some snacks, any suggestions? (I am vegan)
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I'm Miracle (Islamic Story)
Spiritual{Completed} My name is Miracle. I got that name when I was fourteen. I can't remember my family. I can't remember my friends. I can't remember anything from the past. Do I even have a past? Where was I born? Who are my parents? What did I like? Did...
