I'm Miracle (Islamic Story)

Chapter 79

Chapter

I was heating up some soup while Iyaz said across the table. I felt a little uneasy since he was staring at me. I didn't blame him though. I understood it. He hadn't seen me like this. It was also weird for him to see me do normal things that I used to not know a clue of.

"Can you stop staring?" I asked him. He just smiled while looking away.

"Do you need help?" he asked. I shook my head, putting the soup in bowls and placing them on the table, one in front of him. Then I went over to the drawers and grabbed spoons and bread. I sat down in front of him, not meeting his gaze.

"Now I think about it.. I always knew you were muslim. I had felt it when you relaxed the first time I had recited verses" he said, starting with his meal. I didn't reply, focusing on the food. I thought back of the times he would recite for me, just to make me relax and forget the pain. It worked. It always did. That is the one thing I am most thankful for. That was the best way he could help me.

"You don't look American, so I always assumed you had a different background" he continued. I stil didn't reply. What could I even say?

"I searched you up, but I couldn't find anything" he said. This time I did look up.

"I couldn't too, but I am sure of things" I said, thinking of how he didn't believe me. Or acted like he didn't believe me. Iyaz rolled his eyes, looking away.

"I didn't show you, but I was so shocked. I was so shocked to see you talk to Him. It had to be the most intense, beautiful conversation and connection I had ever seen. Your face was glowing, you tears were sparkling as if they were the finish lines of the pain" he said, making me look up at him. The way he described it was exactly how I felt. I hadn't had a conversation with anyone like that before, and I knew I needed it. I needed it to stay sane, because no one could see on the outside that I was still struggling to breathe. There were still small triggers that give me the biggest pain. I knew that he knew. He knew because he felt it too. Maybe never as bad as I did, because he didn't lose his mind. I did.

"There is no finish line" I said, my tone harsher than normal. This wasn't something that you would get over it once you have put a bandage on the wound. This was a scar. A scar that kept bleeding. A scar that will keep bleeding.

"Don't say that" Iyaz said but I shook my head.

"He can't hurt you anymore" he tried to reason. I sighed, not wanting to talk about it.

"He doesn't hurt, the memories do" I said, picking up my bowl and turning around.

I started cleaning my bowl, something that I always had to do. Dirty bowls and plates were bringing me back to there, so I always need to clean them.

"When is your birthday?" he asked randomly.

"July 9th" I replied without thinking, freezing after hearing myself. The water kept running, boiling and burning my hands but I couldn't care. I remembered my birthday. I remembered. How could I even remember what a birthday was. My mind flew back and forth, making me familiar with the date. Before I could fade away into the memories, I felt a presence beside me. I jumped immediately, my heart beating faster.

"Don't be scared, it's just me" I heard his soft voice. I let out a breath, looking at him. He turned the tap off with a frown and then looked at my hands.

"You burned yourself" he let out. He then turned the water on to cold and I hold my hands under it.

"Why do you do this to yourself?" he whispered. I shook my head. He wouldn't understand. I didn't even know.

"This was the first time I remembered my birthday" I whispered back. Iyaz kept silent after that, and a comforting silence was surrounding us. After a few minutes I turned the tap off and dried my hands. It was still stinging, but it didn't hurt that bad. I sat down on the chair at the table and Iyaz kneeled down in front of me. He had an icepack in his hand and pressed it on my hand.

"I didn't make empty promises. I'm sorry if I made you feel that way" he began. I stayed silent, not really knowing what to say.

"I promised that I would find your family, and even though I pushed you away, I still had been holding onto that promise. I'm still trying" he said, making sure that I knew that he kept searching.

"I know I told you that I would teach you every single thing about life. It's just hard because I never know what some things will do to you" he said, not meeting my gaze.

"I just don't want to hurt you" he half-whispered, finally looking up.

"You are the only one that could hurt me, but you are also the only one who could help me" I whispered back, a little ashamed of saying it.

"Can you tell me.. What do you remember from the real you?" he asked suddenly, changing the subject. I let out a breath.

"I remember California. I remember the ocean and going there a lot. I remember a person, I believe it's a friend or whatever you call it, but I also remember fights. I remember that I don't have siblings and that I lived in a very big house. I remember that I went to school and was a very good student. I remember agreeing on going to a party, but I felt this anxiety when I was remembering. I.. I remember him taking me" I whispered the last part, letting a single tear fall. It was weird to let it out. It was different to finally talk about it. I had finally said it to someone. It felt like air entering my lungs.

"If you want to tell me, will you tell me how?" he asked, referring to the last part. I nodded, not wanting to think about it but I wanted him to know. I wanted to share it with him to get a secure feeling. As if I finally didn't have to keep the memories all to myself.

"I remember walking through a street and he came up to me, asked me some directions. I told him- I remember telling him. He then asked me if I could help him to get there, which I declined. I started walking faster to get away. He followed me, and before I knew it he grabbed me. I started screaming but we were near the woods so he took me there, punching me to stay silent. I remember him telling me that he had been following me for a month" I said, letting it out as if I was just telling him a fictional story. Iyaz looked at me with teary eyes.

"Do you know him from before? Had you ever seen him?" he asked. I shook my head. I had never. That was the first time. I was about to speak again when I heard the door. I jumped lightly. I knew it was Anna but I would panic every time she opened the door. She came in and looked at Iyaz with wide eyes.

"Time to talk about Richard" Iyaz said, standing up.

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What do you think Iyaz will say?

Love yall, thank you so so much for your lovely comments and messages. I think there are around 10 chapters left and will try to finish it by the end of this month, which surprises me too because I thought I needed more time. I don't have a lot to do this week except for studying for a test for next week but I am going to try to write as much as I can. Maybe it will need more chapters, depends on my ideas lol. The last chapter is finished though, I mean, Mooooonths ago (maybe even a year)  I made this voice memo with the idea that was flying around my head for the ending and I am dying to write it- can't wait.