Chapter
I turned around immediately, panic going through me. I looked beside me. He was there, he was really there. He had a jacket on with a scarf, since it's been very cold outside. He looked torn, yet better. Maybe it was the haircut. I looked at him with wide eyes. My mouth opened slightly to say something but it was as if my vocal cords were non-existent. He just looked at me, not shocked, not confused. Maybe he hasn't heard me. Maybe he hasn't heard my conversation with my creator.
"How much did you hear?" I asked him. It came out more vicious than I intended to. Maybe it was because I was still hurt by him throwing me out like that, even though I knew it was for the best. He took his scarf off, as if he was going to stay long.
"Enough" he said. I stood up and went to the living room, he following me. I looked down, knowing that I had the scarf still on. I took it off and sat down on the couch. There was no way I could fake something now. He sat down at the end of the couch, not moving his eyes from me.
"Don't be like that. I knew it. I had been, since the beginning you told me" he said, making my eyes widen even more. Anger started building up in me.
"What are you talking about?" I spat out. I needed an explanation. Fast.
"I knew that you remembered" he said, as if that was details. I shook my head, standing up. He acted like he didn't believe me, distanced himself from me- even threw me out and now he tells me he knew it?
"Why?" I managed to say, not knowing what else I could've said. He stood up too, letting out a sigh.
"I said why, Iyaz" I said again when he wouldn't answer me.
"So you aren't even going to answer me? Really?! You know what Iyaz, I really thought that out of all people you would be the first to believe me. You promised me so many things, but I realise now that those were just empty promises you won't even remember. The problem was me remembering things? Was that the reason you started being cold to me? Was that the reason why you kicked me out, not even caring about if I had a place to stay?!" I started yelling at him. His expression didn't change. He didn't even budge when I raised my voice. He was just staring at me, making me even more angry.
"I knew I was a burden and that a time would come that I had to leave, but I thought that you knew I had nowhere else to go. I thought you knew by now that you were the only person I had, the only one I could trust blindly. But thank you for making me realize that I was wrong. Goodbye" I said, walking away. I walked over to my room, letting the tears fall. What hurt me the most was his expression. It was still distant, still cold as if anything I said didn't matter. I sat down on my bed, wiping away the tears. My heart felt like shattered and this feeling felt familiar, as if I had felt it before. I heard some noise on the stairs, so I knew he was coming up. He was in my room after seconds, closing the door behind him and leaning against it. I looked up through teary eyes, getting mad at myself for crying in front of him. That was one charasteristic that I found of me again. I was stubborn and wouldn't let anyone see my pain. I looked him in the eyes, and this time, his expression did change. It turned into a sad, tragic one. As if he felt bad at me for crying. I looked away, wiping my eyes.
"You can go now" I wanted him to go because the toxic air was intoxicating me.
"I had to" he said, talking for the first time.
"I had to do it. For you. For me" he said, not making sense. I refused to look up at him, to see his reaction.
"It's complicated" he said. I shook my head. He wasn't going to explain because he simply didn't want to.
"When he found us and shot you, I saw your expression. It was something I had never seen before. It was like you were in a different world, not even there. As if you didn't even feel the pain. I felt so helpless, knowing that all this time, even in the hole, I couldn't protect you from him" he said, making me look up. This was not true.
"We made sacrifices Iyaz. I did. You did. There were days where you saved me, there were days I took your beatings. We fought our ways out, putting the one in front and behind us" I told him. I didn't want to remember the days he comforted me after he raped me. I didn't want to remember him putting his clothes on me because I was naked, covered in blood and dirt.
"I wouldn't have made it out alive if Allah didn't put you there with me" I said, feeling a little selfish for saying that but it was the truth. He looked down, as if he didn't believe it.
"I had to let you go because you needed to find yourself. I realized that the only one who could help you is you. I.. I really needed some time, because I knew I couldn't forget. My feelings were going over all places" he said, not making sense.
"Nothing would be forgotten, Iyaz. That's impossible" I said, knowing it from experience. He nodded absentmindedly.
"I wish you would've just talked to me. Told me that you didn't want me there anymore. Told me that you wanted to go your own way" I said, half-whispering.
"I just knew that if I told you, you wouldn't go" he said. I looked up at him, thinking that he would've told me the opposite.
"Why would you lie about not believing me then?" I asked him. He looked away.
"It was because I overheard Richard and the doctor. I needed to make sure that they couldn't touch you. That was only possible if I acted like you still didn't remember, because I knew you would go along with it" he said.
"Why?" I asked him. He then looked at me, standing up straight.
"Because I know I am the only one you trust" he said, making me smirk humourlessly.
"And why did you decide to come now?" I asked him.
"Because I know a way to free yourself from them" he said, referring to the research. I raised an eye-brow.
"But we will talk about this when Anna comes" he said, making me nod in confusion.
"Are you good here?" he asked after a long silence. I nodded.
"Luckily" I replied. He looked away and I felt bad. He didn't need to take care of me.
"Thank you though, this was the best we could do" I said, knowing that me moving out was the best. I knew that Allah wouldn't have liked it too. He nodded.
"You hungry?" I asked him. He looked at me before he nodded softly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SEE THAT WASN'T HARD RIGHT? AFTER READING YOUR NICE COMMENTS I WROTE THIS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WHILE WE HAD VISITORS!! Thank you <3
Do you believe Iyaz? Isn't his side of the story a little skeptical?
dont vote, just comment <3333
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I'm Miracle (Islamic Story)
Spiritual{Completed} My name is Miracle. I got that name when I was fourteen. I can't remember my family. I can't remember my friends. I can't remember anything from the past. Do I even have a past? Where was I born? Who are my parents? What did I like? Did...
