I'm Miracle (Islamic Story)

Chapter 75

Chapter 75

"What is that sound?" I asked Anna, turning around, trying to see the source of the noises. It was sweet, as if it was inviting me. Inviting me to something that I used to know. Familiar. Anna just smiled at me.

"Oh, that is just some music played from a piano. I like to listen to that when I get home lately. I mean, it gets very quiet when I am alone" she said. I nodded, still trying to figure out where I knew that from. It was as if I had known every inch of the sounds yet couldn't make out what it was anymore. It was soothing, touching the better parts of my life that had been in the dark for a long time.

"I am just going to make some tea. You can sit down, you know the way" she said, leaving me with my bag. I brought the bag to the room I had been staying in before and then made my way over to the living room. I sat down on the couch and looked around. Nothing had changed from the last time that I was here. It made me feel welcoming and less insecure. I could just feel that Anna was trying hard to make people, including herself, feel like this.

Anna came back with a tray and put it in front of me. I thanked her which made her look up.

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

"Before, you never really thanked me because you didn't know. I just feel so different now that you remember a lot" she said, smiling at me. I felt uneasy, but didn't show it.

"It's not like I remember everything. I just know its there, its near" I said.

"Why did Iyaz behave like that? Any idea?" she asked me, letting my smile fall off of my face. I grabbed the mug and took a sip.

"I don't know. I really don't know. He just changed after I woke up in the hospital. Like, yes we were arguing seconds before it happened but I know that he wouldn't keep that going for so long. I don't even remember what we were arguing about" I said and looked at Anna. She was looking at me with an expression that didn't suit the situation.

"Why are you smiling? Are you even listening?" I asked her. She started laughing.

"I'm sorry. Your vocabulary is just so good, I couldn't help but think about that. You never talked so much in the past" she said, luckily looking away from me.

"But I think that he is more mad at himself than he is at you, don't you think?" she said. I raised an eye-brow, not quite getting what she meant.

"What do you mean?" I asked her.

"I mean, the boy must be really hurt. He has this mindset that he has to protect you at all cost. He has this protectiveness over you, probably because of the things that happened when you were kidnapped. Now that he almost lost you to that disgusting filth again, he keeps blaming himself for it" she reasoned. I thought back to the things he said before I came.

"But.. he had been blaming himself multiple times in the past, but never made me leave. He never trusted anyone around, so why would he let me now? After fighting so hard in court" I asked, my voice above a whisper at the end.

"And that, I really don't know" she replied, letting us wander in the silence for the rest of the evening.

"You know your room. Good night" Anna said while walking to her room. I smiled before I went to sleep. When I stepped inside the room, my hand immediately turned the light on. That was something I still couldn't handle. There were a lot of things I still couldn't handle. Anna thought that, because I remember now, I got over my fears. She thought that, before, I couldn't handle things because I forgot. That's not the case. I still feel the same about everything, it's just that things make sense now and are familiar. I grabbed my pajamas and went over to the bathroom to take a shower. I still couldn't sleep without showering. I hissed slightly when I took my clothes off, hating the feeling of it. It reminded me of the times where he would take everything off and let me stay like that for days. He took my clothes off when he used me, and that's what I felt when I would change into clothes, or take a shower. I went into the shower, letting the hot water stream over me. It felt so good, so secure. Even though showering was my worst nightmare in the past, I now knew I had control over it, so I knew I shouldn't have to worry.

I put my clothes on when I went out of the shower, feeling that sleep was almost consuming me. I never turned the lights off when I went into bed, even though my own eyes betray me by moving me into darkness. I fell asleep sooner than I thought I would've been. That thought alone scared me.

"Get back here!" he yelled at me. I was crawling away, towards Iyaz. I didn't want it anymore. The pain became unbearable. Before Iyaz was here, I felt numb. I couldn't feel any pain anymore. Now that Iyaz was here I felt like he made something in me alive.

"Don't you dare walk away from me, I own you!" he said, grabbing my foot. Iyaz grabbed my arms, yelling at him. He looked different. He didn't look nice anymore.

"No! I won't let you touch her again! Beat me, kill me- I don't care! But I won't let you hurt her anymore!" Iyaz yelled at him. He became mad, real mad. I felt this pain in my chest, knowing that he was going to punish us. He grabbed me roughly, making Iyaz let go. Iyaz wasn't that strong anymore. In the beginning, Iyaz would be able to pull me back and fight him off, yet now he kept putting needles into Iyaz, making Iyaz numb and sleep a lot. Iyaz let go, even though he kept screaming. He started crawling towards me, but he was faster.

"Iyaz!" I yelled, scared of what was going to happen. He took me through the door, and my fingers hurt when they were digging in the door, begging for it to help me. He dragged me upstairs, to the room I despised.

"No! Don't touch her! Do not touch her! I will kill you!" I heard Iyaz's faint voice till I couldn't hear him anymore.

"If I ever see you close to him again, I will kill you and him both. I warn you, Miracle. Now scream"

I jumped from the bed, sitting upright immediately. My breathing worsened and I felt the sweat dripping off of my face. I looked around, feeling a little more secure knowing that I didn't wake up there.

"Iyaz.." I whispered, feeling like something was wrong with him. For a second, I thought that we were back there and he was taken for another beating. I took a deep breath, reassuring myself that that didn't happen.

"He is sleeping.. He is fine.." I whispered to myself, knowing that I needed it. I suddenly heard the door, making me gasp in panic and start shaking. I relaxed a bit when I saw that it was just Anna.

"I heard some screaming. Are you okay?" she said and sat down on the bed. I didn't reply, but just closed my eyes. The memories were intense, as if it had happened twice. Even though it had happened multiple times. I nodded after a while, letting the tears flow. Sleeping was still an issue. It was as if the only time he had more control was when I was sleeping. I felt weak and stupid for letting the memories consume me like that. How did I survive this before?

"You want to talk about it?" she said softly. I shook my head.

"Just memories" I replied, to make her feel like it was nothing, but even my voice didn't lie along.

"Do you want anything?" she asked.

"I want to be alone" I whispered, knowing that I had to handle this on my own. I felt her leave after a few seconds, even though my mind was screaming for her to get back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~