the book of fluff (that usually isn't)

would you be so kind pt. 1 ((mmaybe?¿?))

this is inspired by another dodie clark song and it's pretty gr8

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trigger warning: self-harm

Mitch stared at Scott longingly as the senior talked and laughed with his friends. Scott's boyfriend was next to him, holding his hand loosely. Mitch wished that that was him, but he was a mere sophomore. He had no chance of being with his crush.

Scott had just come out a few weeks ago, but he was so popular no one really minded. Everyone just seemed to gravitate towards the blond — it was hard not to, with his perfect hair, perfect smile, perfect grades, perfect everything. It was hard for Mitch not to fall in love with him; he was a closeted sophomore, insecure about everything, and Scott was accepted and confident with himself.

"Hey, look, Scott. That sophomore's staring at you," one of Scott's friends sneered, pointing directly at Mitch. The entire group looked over, and Mitch flushed bright red and looked down at his books. Stupid. "Aw, you've embarrassed him," Scott frowned and started to get up. "No, don't go over to him. He's probably one of your creepy stalkers," Scott's boyfriend said with disgust and quickly pulled him back down. "Don't be so mean, Ben," Scott scolded, ripping himself free of his boyfriend's grasp and starting over to Mitch.

"Hey, are you okay? I'm sorry about my friends, they can be annoying." Mitch looked up quickly as he heard Scott speak and blushed deeper when he realized he had sat down in front of him. "We heard that!" one of Scott's friends called, but Scott simply laughed. The sound made the longing in Mitch's heart grow, and he resisted the urge to lean across the table and kiss Scott. "Are you okay?" Scott repeated, ignoring his friends. "I'm fine," Mitch practically squeaked, wishing he could disappear. Scott smiled adorably at the sound of his voice. "Aw, you're so cute! What's your name?" Mitch's heart fluttered and he forced himself not to blush. Scott thinks I'm cute. "M-Mitch," he answered shakily and glanced up at him before he quickly looked back down. Scott smiled even wider, his heart warming up. He thought Mitch was the most adorable thing he'd ever seen. "Awwww. Come on, Mitchie. I'm taking you to hang out with my friends," he said, taking Mitch's hand and screaming internally at how small it was. Mitch's heart felt like it was trying to escape his rib cage, and his gaze was focused on their intertwined fingers.

"Guys! Look at how cute he is!" Scott said happily when they had gotten back to his friends, and they all groaned. "He's a person, Scott, not a dog," one of his friends said, but Scott ignored him, grinning down at Mitch. "Mitchiiiiieeee. Meet my friends. That's Ben, that's Kirstie, that's Avi, and that's Kevin," he said, pointing to each of his friends as he said their name. "You gave him a nickname already?" Kevin said jokingly. "I didn't get a nickname for a month."

"Yeah, well, you're not cute, Kevo."

"He's not even that cute," Ben muttered, but no one paid attention to him.

Mitch was practically dying internally — his crush had called him cute three times in five minutes. A deep blush dusted his cheeks and he wrapped his arms around himself as soon as Scott let go of his hand, staring at the ground so they wouldn't see how embarrassed he was.

"Tell us about yourself! If you're going to hang out with us we need to know about you," Scott said to Mitch, smiling. Ben opened his mouth to object, but Scott held up his hand to silence him without even looking at him. Mitch jumped and looked up at him, then his gaze flickered to all of his friends watching him expectantly and his voice left him. He opened his mouth to say something, closed it again, and turned and rushed off without another word. Scott frowned when he left, turning to his friends. "What did I do?" he asked, but they just shrugged. Ben hid his smirk and pulled Scott in for a kiss.

Mitch rushed into the bathroom and into the first open stall he found, quickly closing and locking the door. Immediately, he let out a loud sob and sunk to sit, leaning against the door. God, Mitch. You had a chance to be friends with Scott and you blew it. He hates you now. Great job. Now you'll never date him. Not that you could anyway. Have you seen Ben? Scott would never leave someone as perfect as him, especially for someone like you. You're nowhere near good enough for him. Just give it up already, you know he could never love you. Kill yourself. Mitch sobbed louder and furiously scratched at his arms, causing the cuts from the previous night to reopen and bleed once more. He wished with all of his heart that Scott would love him back, as he knew he was the only one who could put Mitch's broken pieces back together. But he also knew it would never happen and he'd lose the fight, drowning in his own thoughts.

"Mitchie?"

Mitch jumped at Scott's voice and sobbed again, shaking his head and scratching harder. Scott frowned and knocked on the stall Mitch was in. "Mitchie? Why are you crying? Was it my friends?" he asked quietly, his voice gentle and caring. Mitch choked out another sob, not answering. Scott sighed and glanced at the door, but stepped closer to the door nonetheless. "Can I come in?" Mitch knew it probably wasn't a good idea, but he wordlessly reached up and unlocked the door, moving away from it and holding his knees to his chest.

Scott hesitantly pushed the door open, and he felt his heart crack in his chest as he saw the sight. He immediately rushed inside and plopped down at Mitch's side, bringing him into his arms. "Oh, baby..." Mitch bit his lip to keep a sob from escaping, but allowed himself to curl into Scott and bury his face in his chest. Scott pulled Mitch into his lap and rubbed his back comfortingly, ignoring the fact that Mitch's arms were leaking blood into his clothes. A small sob escaped Mitch's lips despite his efforts to stop them and he moved up to hide his face in Scott's neck instead, clutching weakly at his shirt. "I'm sorry," he whispered shakily, but Scott just shook his head and kissed Mitch's tears away. Mitch blushed at the feeling of Scott's soft lips against his skin and turned his head to the side so Scott couldn't kiss him anymore. "Don't apologize, Mitchie. You've done nothing wrong."

Mitch sniffled and curled up against him, unable to help it. "It's just..." He let out a shaky breath, wiping away his tears. "Never mind." His heart pounded at the thought of what he almost did. Scott frowned slightly, but didn't push him, holding him tighter. "Are you okay now?" he asked gently, and Mitch slowly nodded. "Okay, Mitchie. Let's get you cleaned up." Scott helped Mitch stand up and led him out to the sinks, and Mitch immediately dropped his gaze to the ground so he wouldn't have to see his reflection.

Scott gently cleaned the blood off of Mitch's arms and the tears off of his face, treating him like he was a delicate work of art. As if on cue, Scott finished as soon as the bell rang, and Mitch thanked him quietly and rushed off without another word.