the book of fluff (that usually isn't)

out loud

this was requested by PTX_Pentaholic99  and it's based off of "out loud" by gabbie hanna (otherwise known as thegabbieshow i believe)

i'm sorry this is bad and short i tried

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Scott hadn't left the house in two weeks. After all, he had nowhere he wanted to go. Some small part of him was still hopeful that when he woke up in the morning, everything would turn out to be just a bad dream, and Mitch would still be there beside him. It was stupid. Mitch left two weeks ago, and he took Scott's heart with him.

Scott had cried throughout the entire first week, but now, he was just numb. He'd cried all of the tears in his body, and he wasn't drinking anything for his body to make more. He'd lost a scary amount of weight in just the two weeks Mitch had been gone; after all, that was what not eating did to you. You could see his ribs through the shirts he wore, and his eyes were sunken and dull. He didn't believe he had any reason left to live, because to him, Mitch was everything. Without Mitch, why even bother anymore?

Constantly, Scott was wondering where he went wrong. If he'd just tried harder, Mitch would still be there. In truth, Scott could not have tried any harder. He fought so hard to get Mitch to stay, but the brunet boy said over and over that it "wasn't working". Scott wondered what he meant by that. He thought it was going well, he really, really did. He thought Mitch was happy, but he was wrong.

Of course, he believed it was his fault. He wasn't good enough for Mitch anyway. He told himself constantly that he shouldn't be so selfish. Mitch wasn't happy, but now he was. Mitch's happiness was what Scott should've been focused on right then, but all he could think of was himself. How was he going to survive without Mitch? How was he going to find the strength to get up every morning without Mitch? How was he going to ever be happy again?

At first, Scott followed Mitch on social media to see where he was, but then Mitch started posting pictures of himself with other boys and he couldn't take it anymore. He'd shut off his phone and his computer and spent his days watching Netflix on the TV. He never watched Spongebob because he knew it would be too painful. Instead, he stuck to horror films, because nothing in those could remind him of Mitch. Mitch was a ray of sunshine, with a smile that could light up the room. His laugh was loud and infectious and it filled up the house with the sound of pure happiness. His voice was like an angel's, nothing like the screaming and murder in the horror films.

The fans were worried. Everyone was. They didn't know what happened, but suddenly one day Mitch was posting pictures with men that weren't Scott and Scott completely dropped off the face of the earth. He was never on Twitter, or Instagram, or even YouTube. When Friday rolled around and they didn't get a video, there wasn't an apologetic Tweet from Superfruit informing them that they had lost the camera charger or a livestream to make up for it. It was like Superfruit didn't even exist anymore. It was like Scott didn't exist anymore. The fans did their best to figure out what had happened to their favorite blond, but no matter how many Tweets or private messages they sent to Scott, he never replied. They tried asking Mitch, but he ignored them.

Kirstin was worried, too. Scott never replied to her texts, he didn't answer her calls, and Mitch usually changed the subject as soon as she brought up Scott. Soon, she'd had enough. She got Mitch to come over, sat him down with a glass of wine, and began her interrogation. "What happened with you and Scott?" she demanded, crossing her arms over her chest. Mitch sighed and shook his head. "Kirst, I don't want to talk about him." Kirstin rolled her eyes and straightened up to face him. "You have to, Mitch. I'm worried about him. He hasn't been answering my texts, or my calls, and he doesn't go on social media anymore. What did you do?" she asked, her voice gradually getting less gentle the longer she spoke. Mitch scowled and took a sip of his wine, clearly trying to stall answering, but Kirstin wasn't having any of it. "What did you do?"

"Fine. Fine! I broke up with him."

"What? Why?"

"It wasn't working, Kirst. He tried so hard to get it to work, but it just wasn't. I didn't want to hurt him."

"Well, you clearly did. You know how he is, Mitch. He can't go a week without you. You don't have to get back with him, just be there for him as his best friend."

"I will. I just need some time. Check on him for me? Please?"

Kirstin sighed, but she nodded. "Fine, but if you don't go talk to him within the next week, you're in big trouble, Mitchell."

+++

Kirstin unlocked the door to Mitch and Scott's house with the key Mitch had given her and went inside, looking around. A frown formed on her lips when she saw the state of their house; everything was an absolute mess. She picked her way through the mess carefully, glancing at her phone. "Scott?" she called. There was no response, but she did hear the sound of the piano coming from the music room. She hesitated briefly before making her way towards it.

As she got closer, the sound of Scott's voice was added to the piano. It was shaky and hoarse, and it broke every few lines, heartbroken and lost just like Scott.

"I still taste your presence
Once sweet, but it turned sour
Tried to shake your indifference, but it's too late now
I hear you in the quiet, I see you when I'm in the dark
You just couldn't fight for this, but it's not your fault.

"Say what you mean out loud
Drowning in silence when I'm lost in the crowd
'Cause every sweet thing you never speak
It's deafening, never knowing what could be
Wish I could show you how
But you're just a ghost now."