Spencer Reid - One Shots

Unkind

This was another request that I haven't thoroughly read over so I apologize if they're mistakes.
"could you do one where reid's your *boyfriend* and he finds out you self harm..."
746 words

—/—

Struggling with depression, anxiety (and a bit of ocd/adhd) all of your life was never easy. Even with the help of your wonderful, loving boyfriend you still struggled. Some days were better than others, but you recently have been in a slump. Maybe that was because Spencer had been away on two different cases for a a little less than a month now. It was outrageous that he had to work so hard and so much. Part of you felt so guilty for complaining about anything when you knew people out there had it worse, your boyfriend experienced it first hand.

Listening to the artist "awfultune" wasn't a great coping mechanism, but you were so tired and depressed that you just wanted to wallow in your own self pity. Walking into Spencer's office, you found a pencil sharpener and pried it open. You cry and go to the bathroom. You stood in front of the mirror, easily finding everything you hated about yourself, physically and mentally. With that, you sat on the toilet and pulled up your short sleep shorts to cut on your thigh. You haven't done so in a long time, the previous scars still subtly peeking out.

Taking a deep breath, you make a small slit on your left thigh. The sharp pain made you cry harder and you shake. You shake and shudder so hard that the razor falls to the ground, your body curling into a ball as you cry. With the sound of your sobs reverberating off the bathroom walls, you didn't hear the front door open.

But Spencer immediately heard you, however. He ran into the bathroom and he cautiously walked in, he saw you bawling and slowly walked over to comfort you. He gently placed his hand on your back. You freeze, look up, meet his eyes, and fall into his embrace. Spencer wordlessly caught you and lifted you up into his arms. As he walked away with your limp, weeping figure, he heard a scrape on the floor when his foot kicked something. He looked down and wanted to cry himself.

"Oh (Y/N)." He sighed. Putting you down on the bathroom counter, you look at him again when he placed his hands on your wet cheeks.

"My love, what happened?" He whispered. You try to look away but can't escape his tearful, caring, and worried glance. You feel so guilty.

"I'm sorry." You say, breaking down again. He hugged you tight. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened...it's just...this past month has been so hard. I wish I knew why then it'd be easier to pinpoint why I've been down and then I could work on it...but I literally just feel terrible. I hate myself. I hate everything about myself. A-and I know I shouldn't because I have it so good. I'm so fucking fortune in life but I still can't take it." You sob. Spencer continued to hold you.

"Oh my love. My darling girl. I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I wish I knew too, I would have been here." He said

"No! It's okay! There wasn't anything you could do anyway. I'm a lost cause." You sigh

"No, you're not. You're valid, (Y/N/N). You and everything you feel is completely valid. And it's okay not to know, that's one of the many hard things about depression. And I know it's hard to hear because you don't necessarily believe it, but you're so phenomenal love. You are so strong, stronger than you know. You can get through this—we can get through this. Together. I love you endlessly. I will support you and I promise it will get easier. I can't guarantee it to be an easy journey, but I'll be there every step of the way. I love you, sweet girl." He cooed. You stared into his eyes while he spoke to you. You nod and hug him.

He hugs back and kisses you. He pulled away momentarily to find disinfectant and some bandaids for your cut. You watch him and realized you cut deeper than you thought. He kissed the bandaid and carried you to bed. You held onto him like a koala, refusing to let go. He sat in bed with you in his lap. You stayed there, recovering and loving each other.

"I love you (Y/F/N)." He smiled sweetly

"I love you too Spencer Reid."