Spencer Reid - One Shots

Unconditionally

Angst- I can't bring myself to have unhappy endings!
Content Warning: Language
2245 words

—/—

Spencer has been out for a while since Maeve. It was absolutely heartbreaking to see him struggle during the case. And it hurt to know he was wallowing in despair and wrestling in his own loneliness. Your coworkers had tried to see him, but he refused to even acknowledge them. The reason you haven't gone is because you had liked Spencer since your first Dr Who Night together. Three years ago.
You wanted to see him happy, and Maeve seemed to grant that to him. It hurt like hell on your behalf, but you cared too much to take that away from him. Thus resulting in you not even trying to see him. The team encouraged you because they knew how close you were, but you were hesitant. After one week, you went.

And here you are. Frozen in front of his apartment door. Your hand was positioned to knock, but you couldn't find the bravery in you to actually do it. It took some time, but eventually, you knocked.

"Spencer? Hi, its me. (Y/N). I just wanted to see how you were. W-well, are..."

"I miss you. I really do. I miss my best...friend and our nights in. Maybe we could do that soon? I know it brought me joy to have those nights with you, and I think you did too. Maybe it'd help..? Ugh, I don't know. I'm sorry, I'm not great at this. Clearly." You scoffed jokingly

"Anyways! I want—no, need to let you know that I am here for you. Please don't make yourself go through this alone. I care about you. So fucking much." There was still no response

"Will you at least give me a sign that you're alive?!" You joked and giggled through teary eyes. It took a moment, but you heard a faint knock on the other side of the thick walls. Thank God.

"Okay, good. Thank you. I know you're tired of hearing this, but it's true; I'm here for you. There is no fucking time I won't be. I'll be right by your side. And I am even now. I miss you. And I l—c-c-care about you." You took a deep breath and tried not to let the tears fall. Sighing, you continued:

"I see that you want to be alone right now, and I'll respect that. Hopefully I'll see you soon. Well, g-goodnight Spencer." You sighed one last time and stood in place, afraid to move and leave. And right as you were about to turn, the door opened.

There stood a disheveled Spencer. His eyes were darker and baggier than ever before. He was in gray sweatpants and a black shirt under a long, red kimono. His hair was greasy and extra messy. His entire body radiated hurt and exhaustion. His eyes were on the floor as he just stood there. You moved a little closer. Hesitantly, you pushed some hair away from his face. His eyes moved to yours, watering immediately. With that, you wrapped your arms around his neck, holding him as gently as possible. He was still for a few seconds, but soon wrapped his arms around your torso. He held you so tight, like it was a way of giving you permission to hold him just as tight.
So you did.

—One Year Later—

That night seemed like a lifetime ago. Only excepting your help, and your help only, he eventually got back on his feet. He still had his moments, but you were there every single fucking time. One of those said times, he told you how no one would compare to her. And he'll never love anyone like that again. He refused. He even said he would have had kids if...

And that shattered your heart.

He eventually went to bed, and it was your turn to break down. You needed to vent. So badly. You were going to explode, so you went to the only person that would really listen. Hotch.

You knocked on his door despite it being 11:45pm. He answered the door in some jeans and a shirt. He saw your red puffy eyes that still had tears streaming down. He simply opened his arms and you broke down in them. You cried as quietly as possible to not wake Jack, but you wailed a few times in Hotch's embrace. Your painful screams were muffled as you broke.