Spencer Reid - One Shots

Late

Content Warning: Language
Angst(?) with Fluff at the end
1182 words

—/—

8:47

That's it. You give up. And you were shaking from the cold breeze. He was supposed to pick you up at 8. He promised he'd change at work, and you'd get there by 8:10. Just in time for your reservation. If Mister 187 said it'd work, you believe him. But of course, he didn't calculate the possibility of work keeping him later than expected. He knew better. And so did you.

You've been waiting outside on your shared apartment stairs. You were dressed up and looked great. But the glances didn't make you feel as good as you looked. Every car door opening/closing was never him. You both know how hard his job can be, but you both planned this in advance. Did he not tell his boss? C'mon, he rarely takes any days off and never comes in late.

Slam

You were already opening the door to the main lobby. You genuinely didn't care to look or even believe it would be him.

"(Y/N/N)?"

Of fucking course it'd be him. You picked up the pace, making your way back to the apartment. You hear him call you again, closer in distance. You're struggling to get the keys in because it was really cold outside which made you shiver, and your emotions are eating you up.

"(Y/N)!" He exclaimed as he reaches you opening the door

"hi" You say quietly. You didn't have the energy to fight or argue. You yourself had a long day, but you still put in the effort.

"Darling, please look at me..." He pleads sweetly. God, fuck him with his stupid voice like honey.

"What?" You ask as he turns you by your shoulders. Your face is turned and your eyes are focused on a spot of the hardwood floors. His hands give a tiny squeeze on your shoulders.

"My love, I'm so so sorry. I don't know what happened. I completely lost track of time with paperwork." He admits

"Really? I doubt that. That's... pathetic." You quietly spit. He understands though, it was a dumb excuse, but it was true.

"I know, I'm a jerk. But seriously, that's what happened...even though it's pathetic."

"Yeah. It's pathetic how a so-called-genius forgets the concept of time. I mean, c'mon Spencer! You have an eidetic memory for God's sake! How do YOU forget?!"
His lame, but sincere, apology made you gain the energy to talk back. You don't yell, you just reply with a huff of "amusement". You push him off a bit but still stay in place. He gently takes your chin between his thumb and forefingers to bring your gaze to his beautiful eyes.

You get a good look at him and see it in his dark eyes. He is telling the truth and is ashamed. You start to let the tears slip, but your face remains neutral. His eyebrows are furrowed upwards, literally begging. He doesn't say anything, just hugs you. You don't give in, at first.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N). I'm so sorry. I love you so much" He sniffed. He feels terrible about letting you down like that. You give in and hug him back. "Please, let me make it up to you. I promise I'll do better. I'll at least have a better excuse." He jokes. You laugh a bit.

"I know you are. It just hurts. I don't understand, why don't you tell your boss?" You said pulling back to look at him.

He stays silent.

"He doesn't know?"

No answer.

"Does anyone?"

Nothing.

"Jesus, Spencer! You're team— your FAMILY doesn't know about us? About me— I don't e-e- exist?! You c-constantly tell me how much you l-love them and how they're LITERALLY everything to you! But I'm... I just- I'm nothing?! I don't matter?!"
You feel the tears coming once again as you sputter out some words. This hurt really bad because you've been together for a eight months and have even discussed your future together. You told your family!

"(Y/N/N)—" He starts

"No! You- I- don't..." You trail off as you go to the bedroom. You take off your dress and put on some PJs. Your tears naturally take off your mascara. You go to the bathroom and see your reflection. You feel like you're worthless. Nothing. You know how important his team is to him, and their approval. Would you not get it? Are you not enough for him to even ask?

"(Y/N)!" He yells now to get you out of your thoughts. The self loathing and doubt outvoiced him. He holds you firmly as you cry. You don't have the words to describe to him how confused and let-down you are. You look up to him, his eyes are glossy.

"(Y/N/N), you're everything to me! I love you so much and I couldn't even begin to describe to you what you mean to me. You're the most important thing in my life! I love you so so so so so much." He pleads

"Then why..? I know how much you want their approval of everything you do..." You say through a small sob

"Because I don't want you to get hurt! Remember what happened to my boss's wife? I couldn't live without you, so if you are included in my job, or file, someone could target me one day by hurting you..." he takes a deep breath "...I want to tell them. So badly. But you're way more important than them or their stupid 'approval'. Do you see what I mean, love?" He holds your face

You're a little flabbergasted. He wants you to be safe..?

"Spencer. Since day one, we both knew what we're getting ourselves into. And these past few months, we both know that we want... a future. I'm just... I don't know." You sigh

"Again, I'm so sorry. I feel the same. I want to have a future with you. House, marriage, kids, everything. My own paranoia got to me. But I need you to know, you are the best thing that's ever happened to me. Their 'approval' doesn't mean shit to me. I know they'd love you though. I swear, I'm going to tell them first thing tomorrow, arrange a dinner, and I'll even propose!" He swears and giggled at the end. You giggled a bit too.

"Spoilers!" You tease.

He grabs your face and leans his forehead against yours.

"I'm sorry I let you down."

"It's okay. I get it now. It's sweet, really. Just, please, try. I know you already do so much! I just— ugh! I mean—" You start with a giggle but get frustrated trying to find the right words to say. He cuts you off with a compassionate kiss.

"I know. Say no more, my love. How 'bout watching a movie?" He said as he pulls you into a big hug. You both hold on to each other tightly.

"Sounds good. I love you."

"I love you too."