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Review by Sunshine: I Kissed A Bad Boy

Title: I Kissed A Bad Boy

Author: RyZIzZle

Summary: 3.5/5

Your summary is pretty captivating! You use rhetorical question quite nicely, and I like the way you've used contradictory statements to lure the reader in. It definitely needs some brushing up in terms of grammar and punctuation – sometimes, you use full-stops instead of commas and sometimes you use the plural forms of words when only the singular was needed. 

Grammar: 3.5/5

Grammar-wise, not bad! There were definitely a few little slips in each chapter – like missing punctuation marks, or inappropriate spacing. But it never detracted from the story and it didn't really break the flow. The biggest issue I found was punctuation before the closing inverted commas in dialogue, which is actually a mistake I'm finding in a lot of stories across Wattpad.

If dialogue is followed by a verbal tag (such as 'he said', 'she whispered', 'she exclaimed' – or anything referring to how the character says the words), there should be a comma before the closing inverted commas. If it's anything else, this comma should be replaced by a period (or a question mark for a question and exclamation mark for an exclamation). For example:

"He just likes me the way I am." Zara proudly said.

That above sentence is inaccurate. Because the "Zara proudly said" directly refers to the dialogue, it should be:

"He just likes me the way I am," Zara proudly said. 

Character Building: 4/5

Your characters have pretty distinct voices, which is great! I am loving the dialogue – it is realistic, very entertaining and even comedic sometimes. The dialogue between Katherine and Kyle is precious, and still maintains that level of realism that keeps the story engaging.

I particularly liked the chapters in Kyle's perspective. It gave us glimpses of the other drama, the side that reminds us that this is more than just a love story but also a story about his father and the drug/dangerous side of things. It helps revamp the tension that the story was otherwise lacking.

Just remember to keep characters purposeful! Some characters may have started to meld into one another because they didn't feel like they contributed to the story that much. Make every interaction purposeful, make every character purposeful. If they won't contribute to the overall plot, we don't need them. 

Writing Style: 2.5/5

Your writing was fluent and easy to follow, so well done there. You also captured the genre style pretty well. I do recommend you utilise some figurative language – metaphor, simile, personification and such – to make the writing richer and more diverse. It can help ground the readers more.

And speaking of grounding your readers, you need to include setting! You need to describe to us what the setting looked like. Sure, readers can probably assume what a school looks like. But you, as the author, need to provide the reader with descriptions to help support those assumptions. Describe the houses and classrooms and cafeterias – even if it's just for a tiny chunk of a paragraph.

And my biggest issue was showing, rather than telling. Let's look at the very first chapter, when Zara was making a 'judgy face' as you described it. Don't tell us that it is judgy! Show us! Does she have an eyebrow arched? Arm propped on her him? Arms folded across her chest? Show it to us. 

Plot + Uniqueness: 3/5

I won't lie. The story definitely borders cliché, especially with the high school setting.

But there are definitely some things in the story that make it branch away from the cliché. For example, Kyle's backstory and the interesting mission that will soon cause a dilemma. I can't wait to see how that will play out!

The story is just getting its gears in place, so my biggest piece of advice is to make sure everything remains purposeful and to keep up with the good work!

OVERALL SCORE: 16.5/25

Overall, a pretty good start to a promising story! Make sure you really flesh out those descriptions and keep all the characters purposeful, and you'll be good to go! Hope this review helps.