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Review by Sunshine: Fallen For You

Title: Fallen For You

Author: Sapphire61298

Summary: 2.5/5

Okay, so you've chosen to kickstart your summary with an excerpt from the book itself – that, in itself, is absolutely fine. In fact, it's a rather popular choice for Wattpad summaries. The excerpt itself shows the quirky voice of the narrator, it shows glimpses of the dilemma she will eventually have to face, and it's relevant to the storyline. However, it is incredibly long. Imagine your book turned into a paperback novel – that excerpt, along with the summary, would not fit. Besides, is the excerpt really necessary? Does it make the reader want to read more? If not, don't use it, or find a shorter excerpt to use.

Now, onto the summary itself. The summary is fine – in fact, it's very easy to follow and is very fluent. You've included all the right things – you've introduced the protagonist, you've introduced the conflict, and you've finished it off with an intriguing rhetorical question.

Perhaps, you could also introduce the stakes? What happens if she does fall for him? What could go wrong? I'm assuming that, because he is a teacher, it could get them both in a lot of trouble. I think it's important to mention that.

Also, your summary has a lot of grammatical errors. But I'll discuss the major grammatical points in the section below, because these mistakes were consistent throughout your story.

Grammar: 2/5

Okay, so the story had many minor errors scattered throughout each chapter. Some of these errors included: missing words, missing punctuation, run-on sentences, typos, and confusion between certain homophones. However, I'll be discussing the major ones in this review.

First of all, tense. Most of the time, you're in past tense, but occasionally, you fall into present tense. For example, in one paragraph, you started with:

"I sighed." [sighed = past tense]

Then, at the end of that paragraph, you had:

"It scares me at some points." [scares = present tense]

You need to make sure you stick to one tense.

Another thing was that I found missing question marks, even at the end of questions. Even if the tone is supposed to sound dry or bored, you must include a question mark. For example:

"Did I mention he isn't even my real brother."

That above example is inaccurate. It is a question, so it should be:

"Did I mention he isn't even my real brother?"

You also mixed up "who's" and "whose" quite often. Whose is the possessive form of the pronoun 'who', while "who's" is a contraction of the words "who is" or "who has". For example:

"Tyler Ruggler is the guy who's parents took me in."

That above example is inaccurate. It'd be inaccurate to say, "Tyler Ruggler is the guy who is parents took me in." It should be:

"Tyler Ruggler is the guy whose parents took me in."

Another thing was singular and plural forms. Let's look at an example:

"He had brown hair with caramel highlight."

There is a singular/plural tense mix-up happening in the above example. Did you mean highlights? Or did you mean a single caramel highlight? You need to make this clear by either making the word 'highlight' plural, or by adding an 'a' before the word 'caramel'.