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Review by Tahsin: Hope

Title: [Hope] The Tale of the Utterly Selfish Savior 

Author: 1-800-what-a-mess

Reviewer: TahsinHossain

Summary: 3/5

The summary gave out a nice little explanation of the story. But your choice of words was lacking. 

First, in your summary, there was a line: 

"Where the dead reign supreme and humanity is on the brink of destruction."

I think using extinction will be better here, instead of destruction.

Then, make the description a bit more dramatic. Like: 

"Here, was a world, where power and money seemed worthless, where the hunters were turning into the prey. The earth, which was now hopeless, was where Uchiha awakened up."

Like this, though it doesn't actually have to be exactly like this.

Also, using the same tense as your story will be better.

Grammar: 3/5

In chapter one, or negative one, you used a line:

"Hell is a lot worse."

The story is written in the past tense, so why did you use present here? There were a few mistakes like this.

Also, articles. You forgot to add an "an" in front of vowels. Instead, you used "a".

And, though it isn't a problem, I think you should write the prologue in the past tense. As you've written the other chapters in that way, the prologue doesn't match up. But I could read it smoothly without noticing those mistakes, as the story was fun to read.

Character Building: 3/5

Well, we don't actually get any character besides Sophie and Uchiha, though I'm only guessing the person Sophie saved was Uchiha.

Sophie's character seemed too rushed. She killed a man, then she turned into an emotionless zombie hunter? That's not the reaction a nineteen-year-old girl would have after killing someone. Instead, you could have put some depth into her by giving her a mental breakdown, be it only for an hour or so. 

Not just that, the fight scenes between her and the zombies make her look too overpowered. I mean, how can she kill the zombies so effectively? You should have made her use the pistol she found if you wanted to make the scenes short. Or, you could have given her some training in martial arts or something like that.

Her character only seemed rushed from the middle of chapter two. At first, she was scared of zombies, and her reactions were perfect. But then, she just became an independent, effective zombie hunter. It doesn't add up.

Also, yes, a lot of us know Uchiha from Naruto. But not all of us do. There are many people who haven't watched the series. So, for them, you could have added a brief description of the Uchiha clan, and Madara's backstory for those who didn't watch the series. Also, describe his powers. 

And, you did add a face to Sophie in the cast section, but still, describing her by writing will do a much better job in creating an image of her in the reader's mind. You can add that in the scene where she cleans herself up in the bathroom.

Writing Style: 4/5

Well, the least I know is you are a great writer in both first and third person writing style.

But, DON'T suddenly change the viewpoint. And moreover, Sophie is the main character here. But the prologue ends with Uchiha. So, I first thought you were telling the story from Uchiha's POV instead of Sophie's. It took me a moment to realize that the person telling the story is actually Sophie.

And from chapter two, you suddenly turned the view from first to third person, confusing me. This will affect your story flow greatly in the future. Use a permanent writing style, or at least mention the change at the beginning of the chapter.

Plot + Uniqueness: 3/5

Reincarnating famous anime character into a post-apocalyptic world is not a new concept. Not just that, this story was actually a mashup of fanfictions, as you are also going to add The Walking Dead. Doing such a thing will bring your uniqueness down.

You have an amazing way of describing stories, so if I was in your place, I would probably turn my focus towards an original story. (And I did btw, I discontinued my fanfiction to write the original stories of mine.)

OVERALL SCORE: 16/25

You have a lot of potential, and I think this story will turn out great even if the plot isn't unique. Keep writing and fix the mistakes I pointed out, and you are good to go! 

I hope this review helps! And also, you can submit another request to another reviewer if you didn't like mine!