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Review by El: The Past is in the Past

Title: The Past is in the Past

Author: SylviaMarie6129818

Reviewer: footnoteofhappiness

Summary: 4/5

It has a good plot – and there isn't too many sentences in your summary (but could do well with a few less). It is slightly captivating and makes me want to work out what Lizzie is going to do about many things (especially her past) but it needs a little more polishing. A little more editing and then it'll be perfect. It could do well with a powerful final line too. 

Grammar: 4/5

The grammar isn't too bad, I could read the book smoothly without worrying about if words were used in the correct sentences (though they were! Good job). 

Character Building: 3/5

Caretaker at the start seems as if her character is rushed a little, not enough to know what's really going on. Lizzie gives away a few details about herself, but I felt like I knew more about her due to the summary than the first chapter itself. Your characters aren't too badly built but could do with a re-build, make them more captivating and well enough to leave a reader with an impression.

Isaac and Lizzie seemed super close in the first chapter? As if they have this whole relationship going on that I don't understand at all. 

Writing Style: 1/5

Not a massive fan of your writing style, it actually makes the story really complicated to read. I am overwhelmed by your immense use of images. It seems super basic, as if there is a lot of room for improvement. Use descriptive words instead of images and it will capture the reader a lot more. 

Plot Uniqueness (Twist/Attention Grabbers): 3/5

It treads the line of uniqueness and its not too bad. The story itself doesn't grab my attention all that much. I could barely get passed chapter five and I was pushing myself after chapter one. I couldn't read this book at all with all the images. It was stressing me out. 

OVERALL SCORE: 15/25

It would do well to learn about Lizzie more as a person in the opening chapters and not in the summary itself. I found I knew things about Lizzie because of the summary but not because of the opening chapters. Read it through, maybe edit it a little more. I think adding media in the middle of a chapter actually confused me and took my attention away from the story. It also took away my chance at IMAGINING your characters, when you've given me images instead of descriptive words. Maybe leave the media to the top panel or a separate part with "Casting", it will then help the story flow better. Also, the photo frame you could've described and then put the picture in the top media panel. But in saying that, the picture wasn't super needed. Basically, the use of media every two seconds instead of descriptive words, stressed me out.