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Review by Izzy: Spicy Sugar

Title: Spicy Sugar

Author: Imperfect_Godess

Reviewer: IzzBizz747

Summary: 5/5

I love the summary. Especially the opening line of it... that not only made me smile, but also immediately caught my attention. The last proper line was also amazing, leaving mystery and wonder as to why her love for sugar turned into a fear. The part where it says she may have to sacrifice her life instantly turned me on, making me want to read more. It's a very unique summary, with no grammar errors I could see, and hooks the reader at once.

Grammar: 3/5

There were a lot of noticeable mistakes with your speech. As an example, in chapter 1, where it says:

"Hi" Lucius smiled at her. "I have work, go away" she replied.

It should be:

"Hi." Lucius smiled at her.

"I have work, go away," she replied.

With the speech in separate lines, and punctuation at the end of both, before the end speech mark.

There are also a few other places in the book where all the speech from two different people is put into one paragraph. A new paragraph should be started every time a new character speaks.

Also, in a lot of places (mainly speech), you wrote something in ALL CAPS, whereas it looks more professional to use italics.

This all comes under punctuation, but in order to have good grammar this is needed.

But your language (adjectives/ descriptive words) is brilliant. The way you describe objects or anything else is great.

Character Building: 4/5

Edward was a very mysterious and perplexing character, which made me want to read on to find out more about him. Brian was instantly revealed as a big-brotherly person who was very caring for Caramel. Lucius was also quite a mysterious character, who I first thought of as very kind, but then in chapter 5 Cara mentioned about how he was the bad boy... that got me thinking. I wanted to read more after that, which is a great way to keep readers hooked. And then he showed his true colours... Bad boy Lucy... and poor rabbit... Lucius was a very difficult character to discover, but that adds to the mystery. As the story continues, he certainly becomes very perplexing... good or bad?

Writing Style: 3/5

As mentioned before, your paragraphing with dialogue needs improvement. Just remember to have a separate paragraph for each new speaker.

Also, although your descriptions are very good, I found no descriptions of the characters' appearances. (correct me if I'm wrong) I do not know what they look like or wear. It's great to leave this to the reader's imagination sometimes, but it's also good to have some description in there as well.

Plot + Uniqueness: 5/5

I have never read a book like this. It's just incredible, and I loved the entire idea of it. I'm excited to read more.

OVERALL SCORE: 20/25

Please note I read up to chapter 15 as you were updating while I was reviewing.