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Review by Sunshine: The Book Keeper's Heart

Title: The Book Keeper's Heart

Author: GryffindorsLoneWolf

Summary: 4.5/5

Adorable. Your summary is really cute! Furthermore, it includes all the right things – a bit of context, the main characters, and where the story will lead. Of course, it doesn't include stakes, but as most people know, romance stories don't necessarily need to include stakes within the summary – especially since it looks like it's more of a chicklit than anything. So, well done! I'm very excited to read this. I don't often get awkward little love stories to review.

One quick thing that stuck out to me:

"Nandini Varma is the Keeper of books in her town. Rather, she owns the only bookstore."

Usually, when 'rather' is used in that structure, the 'rather' is used to connect two sentences when the second sentence sets a counterexample to something negated in the first.

"There is nothing wrong with the teacher. Rather, the problem lies within the students."

Or:

"This is not a meaningful sentence. Rather, this is an example."

When you used 'rather', it wasn't to set a counterexample, nor was the sentence negating anything. Maybe just write something simple, like:

"Nandini Varma, the owner of the only bookstore in town, is known as the keeper of books." 

If you want to keep the same structure, it also makes sense to write: 

"Nandini Varma is the keeper of books in her town. Or, rather, she owns the only bookstore." 

That clarifies that there is a preference over how she is referred to. 

Grammar: 4/5

For the most part, your grammar and punctuation is spot on – well done! There were a few slips I found, though, but I'm assuming most are typos. However, there were some examples I thought we should discuss. First of all:

"She was thankful that Lily's place was still open late on Saturday, even though all the other shops in the district were closed, she could still see lights winking at her."

In that example, the comma between the words 'Saturday' and 'even' just isn't strong enough. The 'even though' sounds like it should be the start of a new sentence. In that example, I would use a full-stop, or even a semicolon:

"She was thankful that Lily's place was still open late on Saturday; even though all the other shops in the district were closed, she could still see lights winking at her."

There were some instances, on the other hand, where I thought you were missing a comma. For example:

"Long time not see Nandini?"

First of all, in that example, it should be, 'no see' – I figured that was a little typo. Next, there should be a comma before the name. It should be:

"Long time no see, Nandini?"

Since 'long time no see' is a common phrase used without a comma, I don't think people find it necessary to do this, but I always include an additional comma for the sake of clarity:

"Long time, no see, Nandini?"

That last one is optional, though. Next, be careful with capitalising letters when it's not the start of a new sentence – particularly when it's preceded by dialogue. Example: