Review by Danielle: Misadventures with Monsters

40 5 19
                                    

Title: Misdaventures with Monsters

Author: awesomeSTG

Reviewer: pluviophile_bookworm


Summary: 5/5

Your summary provides just enough information about this book to intrigue a reader at a glance, and tell us, "This is gonna be a wild ride, so hang on, kids!" An odd quote from the book, an outline of the events about to take place, a small view into the main character's personality, and you've got yourself one dang good summary. 


Grammar: 4.5/5

You truly did beautifully on grammar in this book. I struggled to find much to critique in my review—the only very noticeable thing I found was the lack of indentation in new paragraphs or quotes. Yes, they are separated by a blank line of text, and that makes it easy to read, but indentation is still the proper way to write it. 

It's not a big deal, and honestly, I understand if you don't want to go back and put spaces in all your new paragraphs. Seriously, I've had to do that before, and it's not fun. The way you've written this book doesn't make it much of a problem. But, if you do want perfect grammar, I would go back and put just two spaces in the first line of each new paragraph. It's just proper. 

Lastly (I know I talk about grammar too much—sorry!), a stop I give to just about everyone is the use of adverbs. Here's an example from your book:

"We should get new bracelets," Thalia noted, smiling broadly.

Now, look at those last two words, "smiling broadly." Does "broadly" really change the action of the verb? Here's a random example unrelated to your book:

'She smiled happily.'

'She smiled sadly.'

Which one sounds right? The second one. Why? Because you could simply write "she smiled" and have the exact same meaning: the girl is happy. We don't need an adverb to tell us that. It renders the adverb "happily" useless.

But how does the second one differ? Because it changes the meaning of the verb. The "sadly" determines how she smiled. Unlike the "happily", it specifically informs us how the main verb is to be used. 

Now, in your sentence, it could be argued that "broadly" shows that Thalia is very happy, so this isn't the best example from your book, but still, this piece of information is something I always take care for remember in my writing, and I always hate it with every aspiring author I can. 


Character Development: 3/5

I already like your characters a lot—especially Wendy and Thalia, whom I quickly felt an attachment to. They're funny and interesting, and all so different from one another! 

One thing I would change is putting your characters in a few different situations. I've seen Shanna be angry, and happy with friends—those seem to be her two main emotions. Obviously, she must have some sympathy for the vampire boy, but why? Does he remind her of someone? And how does she act in other situations? When she's sad? Lonely? In love? Helpless? I want to know how she reacts. 

And this goes for other characters, too. Rouge is almost never shaken from his sly and cocky demeanor. What would be feel like in weakness or desperation? How would Wendy react to betrayal? What are Henry's thoughts on love? Is Thalia ever lonely? I want to know these characters more and more. 

I also want to know more of both Shanna's and Rouge's pasts. Have they been troubled, or fairly smooth? Will they come back to haunt the characters? Have they moved beyond any pain or are they holding on to it? I come up with many questions about these characters. 


Writing Style: 5/5

I genuinely enjoyed your writing style—it is smooth, interesting, and easy to read. Even if Shanna was doing something boring and ordinary (like taking out the trash), something exciting could come of it. That's a huge part of good writing.

The dialogue was both funny and realistic, especially between Shanna and her friends. I can easily imagine me and my friends having conversations or doing things like what you depict in your book. It's real, simple, and entertaining.


Plot + Uniqueness: 4/5

I don't read vampire books much, but the ones I have read are usually similar—a girl falls for a mysterious hot guy who ends up being a vampire (surprise, surprise) and then they fight some battle before accepting each other and declaring a relationship. 

Your book did nothing of the kind. Yes, you have a strong, independent female character and a gorgeous vampire guy, but they aren't a stereotypical couple, that's for sure. In fact, fourteen chapters into your book, I still can't quite determine what Shanna's feelings are for Rouge—is he like a brother, or are they eventually falling in love?

But don't take this for a bad thing! This book keeps you guessing, which is exactly what I want in a new read. Predictable is boring. Sometimes I think they are falling in love, and sometimes they act so much like a brother and sister that I just can't see it. Either way, I really want to know what happens!

The most cliché thing I found was that Rouge was a 'unique' vampire, and he was being hunted. But even that cliché you changed and made it your own, and I love that. 


OVERALL SCORE: 21.5/25

This is a great book, and has some serious potential. I thought that it rambled a bit too much at some parts, and I would love to see more character development as the book continues, but overall, wonderful job on this story!



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