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Review by El: Prongslet

Title: Prongslet 

Author: Fanfictionist2004

Reviewer: footnoteofhappiness

Summary: 3/5

The summary is okay. It tells me what the story will be about – which is good. It gives me a little back story on Harry (if I hadn't read HP to begin with). It only needs a little bit more polishing, however. It needs a few more full stops instead of comas (but that comes in the grammar section). All in all, it's not too bad. The idea of Remus and Sirius raising him is a wonderful concept – I wish it could've been true. Harry would've been a lot happier and more carefree as a child.

The question you've asked in the summary would work best as a separate line. It would stand out a whole lot more and intrigue the reader further. 

Grammar: 4/5

You could read this story fairly smoothly, without noticing many errors – if we don't include the summary in that. When I looked hard enough, I noticed a couple misplaced comas and full stops but other than that; well done.

I did notice, though, that you haven't had full stops at the end of any of your sentences – maybe just fix that bit up.

Character Building: 4/5

The characters (which are canon mostly, as far as I am aware) are built pretty well. Almost perfect to the T in Joanne's wizarding world. Some slips ups on discovery – if you had read Harry Potter and are aware that some things seem uncharacteristic for the character themselves. But those not returning to the world, and are new, would consider them built all the way through. So good job on adding a few things, here and there, I wouldn't have expected. 

Writing Style: 3/5

Your writing style treads the line of originality – it seemed the very same to others. There isn't anything special about it or anything that fascinates the reader. It's just simple, but it's simple enough to be able to be followed smoothly. I knew what was going on the whole time – even if I didn't agree. It was easy to follow, I wasn't confused in any way, but I wasn't intrigued either. 

Plot Uniqueness: 3/5

I've seen the plot before – and hated it every time. What I found redeemable in the Dursleys was that they weren't as physical with their punishments. I could hardly stomach that, as it was a childhood story of mine. I wouldn't have originally read this story – by pure interest – if I hadn't been asked to review it. It wasn't a bad story, the later chapters made up for the sad first ones. 

COMMENTS:

I enjoyed the story – just not as much as I thought I could've. I don't believe I was the right audience for it, but I think you have found the right audience for it; I'm just not a part of it. I wish you all the best with your fanfic and your writing journey. 

OVERALL SCORE: 17/25