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Review by Daryl: Zeitgeist

Title: Zeitgeist 

Author: GhostsInsideOfMyBed

Reviewer: lordedarylene

I'll begin this review by saying I love this story. I truly do. It was so interesting that I forgot where I was supposed to stop. I just kept reading till I took a look at my schedule and got a whack in the face. I had completely forgotten the time allotted to each book; that's how much it reeled me in. I even finished the entire book! This was lovely. For the aspect of correction, I don't have much to say. I'll simply give what I like and a few suggestions which can be interpreted as you deem fit.

Character Development: 8/10

You delivered your story through a beautiful cast I would love to see more of. Your characters were unique in a very clear way. I couldn't even categorise them. There was no badass main female character or nerdy male character: none of that. They were so real that I could imagine walking into a store and bumping into them. It's like you travelled to an alternate dimension and documented a major part of their lives; then, called it 'Zeitgeist'. You did, didn't you? I don't know how you did this but bravo, signorina Scarlet. I lift my hat in a reverent salute to your adept characterization. If I could, I would add a peck to your knuckles like a proper gentleman. To top off how well you portrayed them, your cast is intercontinental. You took from so many different countries and that just makes your story a home for people from all over the world. I could go on and on but I shouldn't; this review must progress, after all. I'll pick apart three or more characters and use them to highlight the pros and cons I noticed in the storyline.

Let's start with the protagonist, Aaliyah Zarren. Aaliyah is a truly oxymoronic enigma. She's a mishmash of ambiguous traits. She seems to need acceptance from people as shown by how she cleaned up her apartment for Louis and dressed up for Octavio. At the same time, she doesn't give a hoot about her dressing style which could raise eyebrows. Who ever saw the assistant to the CEO of a big PR organisation wearing a nose ring and ripped jeans? Talk about public image, am I right? One would expect her to wear suits and pumps since she cared about her appearance when meeting Louis. A second trait I like is her indecisiveness which is quite endearing. I'm certain your book has a lot of indecisive readers who can connect to that including my shameless self. She desires one thing today and the next day, another thing entirely. Inspite of that, she's quite dedicated when she focuses on one task. That's another oxymoron right there. Also, she's sensitive as is clear from how close she holds things to her heart and the fact that she's terrified of getting hurt again. Yet she's one of the strongest characters I've come across. Her sheer determination makes her tough as iron even though she probably doesn't realise that. These contradictions make her a very interesting individual. It's rare to find a character that highlights her own strengths and weaknesses. Usually, another character does that but versatile Aaliyah doesn't need anyone to show off herself. I'm pleased with this persona.

The one thing that itches me the wrong way is her lack of a backstory. I read further as a result of my enthusiasm and I understood that you introduced hints later on. There's nothing against that. It's a technique many writers use and it usually turns out well. Nevertheless, I think you held back too much. I mean, by the tenth chapter, we should have at least a tiny itsy bitty clue as to how her earlier years were. You don't have to give away too much. I liked the way you introduced her mother by talking about the woman's objection to her piercing. That also served as a slice of the backstory pie we're all addicted to. Still, I would have liked something that actually related to the past and not a present phenomenon like her piercing. Perhaps, a small recollection about something her dad or mom used to do. I don't know. I just need to know she has folks she experienced things with in the past. For awhile, I forgot where she came from because there wasn't anything else to hold onto. When that happens, it feels like the character is floating in my head with no proper standing, no roots to tie them into the foundation of the story. One frayed thread connecting her to her past is enough. Then, you can withhold the hints till later chapters. That way, it's clear that you're keeping things suspenseful there. Another thing you could do is to make it obvious Aaliyah doesn't like remembering her past if you don't want to drop any hints in the earlier chapters. Maybe she could be remembering something and she would stop because she doesn't wish to open old scars. That's a big bomb people will crave to detonate by reading the book to the end. Aside from this, I love Aaliyah.