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Review by Fatima: Letters to Manny

Title: Letters to Manny 

Author: footnoteofhappiness

Reviewer: Fanfictionist2004

Summary: 4/5

I like the fact that you have included your books rankings and the awards that is has won that really brings the readers attention as you have shown your stories potential. However, I have cut a point because your books actual summary is only one sentence long. I do not feel that one sentence explains to the reader what your story is about. Remember that the summary is one of the first things a reader looks at so you have to make sure that it is explaining what your book is about in detail. 

Grammar: 4/5

I have spotted a few grammar mistakes, but not a lot. For example, on your second letter you wrote: 

"You didn't come. I still have hope..." 

You may want to add "yet, I still have hope..." as the word yet shows the readers that even though all of this happened, yet she still has hope. Apart from that I have spotted a few missing commas and words like yet but good job over all. 

[Quick note from ray_of_sunshine9 - who is becoming notorious for intervening in reviews - I don't think the example above is grammatically accurate. Grammatically, it is perfect. However, I think the reviewer was referring to the fluency of the writing, rather than the grammar. Fluency-wise, adding a conjunction does make it easier to follow.]

Character Building: 3/5

In the first letter we learn a lot about Alyson, we learn that she is a student and that she has had many adventures in her life. You might want to add what grade/class she is in. For example: 

"The day is the same as usual for me; my ninth grade classes still teach subjects that are useless." 

I wrote this in the heat of a moment so it isn't that good, but you get the idea. You may also want to include Manny's last name.

Writing Style: 5/5

I really like your writing style. It has a really nice flow and is really distinct. Good Job!

Plot: 4.75/5

I really like the plot of your story. It is really original. I have read a few stories like this but this is one of the best ones I have read yet. I have cut half a point because it seemed a bit cliché but it has the subtle ingredient that makes me want to read more.

OVERALL SCORE: 20.75

Your story was really good! I really liked it. Please know that these comments are only constructive criticism so please don't take offense. I have voted for a few chapters of your book but not all since I was offline for a while but I had your book preloaded.