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Review by Izzy: Midnight Moon

Title: Midnight Moon

Author: ArtisticBookie1809

Reviewer: IzzBizz747

Quick note from the reviewer: 

Sorry for the slight delay of your review! And to any others on my waiting list: I also apologise. Hopefully I will have it out soon! Thanks for waiting!

Summary: 4/5

The summary was definitely very good. It had enough about the book to understand what it was about, and if the reader would want to continue, and the rhetorical question at the end was brilliant as it draws people in. One way I would improve, if you want to, is add a more kind of rhythm to it. Something like this:

When Laila is forced into fleeing to Fae Forest so she can stay safe, she does so without complaining. Living in the Forest is hard, but after a few years there she becomes accustomed to the dangers within it.

You may have noticed that along with changing the odd word to add a better flow, but I also changed 'in the Forest' to 'there' as - although repetition is sometimes good, I personally felt it sounded better without this time. Of course, the above is just an example.

Again, I love the rhetorical question. I don't think the summary needs any more improvement!

Grammar: 2/5

You did mention you'd like grammar to be a focus point, so I've tried to be as helpful as possible.

Although your language and descriptions are incredible and very well written, your grammar is let down quite a lot throughout. The first thing I'd like to mention is paragraphing. You often, especially in that pre-chapter, seem to clump a lot together. Spacing things about is never bad at all.

Your dialogue should also always be on separate lines if it is more than one character speaking. For example, in the pre-chapter you had the old man speaking and the girl speaking in the same paragraph. 

Picking out one part of a paragraph:

The old man opened the trap door and said to the girl,"Follow this path and do not stop till you reach a similar door as this one. This pathway will lead you to the borders of the Fae Forest." The girl nodded as she put the book gingerly into the bag. Then she hugged the old man one last time saying,"I love you. You are like a grandfather that I never had."

It should be:

The old man opened the trap door. "Follow this path and do not stop until you reach a similar door to this one. The pathway will lead you to the borders of the Fae Forest," he said.

The girl nodded as she put the book gingerly into the bag. Then she hugged the old man one last time, saying, "I love you. You are like the grandfather that I never had."

The last part of this could also be,

Nodding, the girl put the book gingerly into the bag.

Just to add a little variety of sentence starters.

Also in the pre-chapter (I seem to be pointing out a lot in there, sorry!) it has:

And then, just like that she was gone.

It's great that you have short paragraph, this adds to the feeling of the book, but it just needs another comma after 'just like that'