Title: Signs of Hope
Author: Buttertech
Reviewer: Fanfictionist2004
Summary: 3/5
Your summary really seems weak to me. It tells us the bare minimum of a story. Try putting in a few other details in, for example the relationship between Roy and Addie, how old Roy is, where they live now, etc.
Grammar: 4/5
I have spotted a lot of missing commas and apostrophes, but nothing else. I don't know how to give you advice for this but you can try using apps like Grammarly and such, or just review your work again.
Character Building: 3.75/5
We barely know anything about the character. The reader always makes a visual image in his/her mind about what they think the character or scene looks like and the author needs to provide a few hints to what their minds should be picturing. Mention something like their hair color, eye color, height, are they too tall, medium etc. in the first chapter and continue as you have by dropping other hints in the next chapter(s).
Writing Style: 3/5
I was a little confused at the beginning as to what was happening. Your pace is a little bit too fast, you may want to slow it down a bit. For example, in the first chapter your should talk about who exactly is talking and separate the dialogues into different lines for example:
"The elder sister says something here."
"Now the reply or the response to what the sister said."
Plot: 5/5
I have not read anything like your story before. I have enjoyed it a lot. I urge you to continue your story - it is really intriguing.
OVERALL SCORE: 18.75/25
I hope you don't mistake my constructive criticism as me being rude. I just want the best for your book and I hope my criticisms are useful to you.
YOU ARE READING
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